Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Fail
Steele, United States
Not a night owl
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML
something
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
makeyourselfathome
Richmond, Australia
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
vinniesuckmadack
United States
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
rhplb
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Anonymous
Stoney Creek, Canada
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
blackvogue
Canada
Classic
Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Sorry guys, please don't hurt me
Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML
Top comments
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
j_cat187 19
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
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Comments (65)
DatDappyDde 0
I bet you are ready for some more steel!
imlagginglol 0
YDI for being Magneto
volley4eva1698 0
ouch. painful!
khaya 9
Worst prostate exam ever. Especially in the dark.
DreaminOfMusic 0
why were both of you guys in the kitchen at 4:40 anyway?!?
livgasms 4
LOL at #29
CryMoreFMLs 14
His balls! They are not made of STEEL!!
Spewn 2
That wasn't your brother.
Spewn 2
31 What kind of weak arse boots you got?
nerdchic 5
40 - I work at 5 every morning.. maybe he was getting ready for work or something
Qeuar 0
Duke Nukem's balls of steel would have no problems dealing with this.
aquariusangel420 0
29 your avitar is ****** AWESOME!!! O sorry OP that suxs to next time bring a flashlight and some pepper spray next time and spray him in the eyes and kick him in the NUTS THAT'LL TEACH EM
littlemissFYL 5
not FYL, **** your life bro =[
thaney18 0
I don't get it.
maa_rico 4
osama is dead hoot hoot
whitesox365 0
ding dong! osamas dead! osamas dead! osamas dead! ding dong osama bin laden's dead! and good riddance
futtbuck101 1
F Osama's life
d_balu 0
lolz..!
clarkie_boi_8494 0
is your brother captain falcon by chance
xxlauruh 0
why is everyone assuming he got kicked in the balls?
Mpsteve13 7
pee in his mouth
DiamondBTroll 0
shut up..
Mpsteve13 7
**** off
Katie_the_Great 6
2. Man that's MrsBunny's line. lol
dgr8ing 0
your hot!!!
FFML_314 11
You're stupid!!!
snade 0
Haha
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
pickles1994 18
lol I'm going for the sexiest pic in FML ;)
ikillhobbits 0
lol fail bro
jimboner69 6
im going for sexiest name on FML
illmatic2 16
Dang. I hope that all of you guys know that #92 did in fact want you to thumb his comment up. Just lettin' you know in case you didn't already.
TroII 0
I hope this does not become youtube with the douchebags always saying "thumbs up if you agree"
ceinaworus 0
haha, you guys, honestly. it was a mockery joke of dumb people. and for the record, I could give two ***** about a "positive" or "negative" comment. HOLY FORESKIN! MY COMMENT IS RATED POSITIVE! shit, someone made it negative. I'm going to kill my self by beating my face with my iPod.
oliveindamiddle 0
^ that was..... creative..
ceinaworus 0
thank you. I have the imagination of a wildebeest on cocaine and acid put in a blender and injected into the ileum section of the small intestine.
chickunkey 0
^ dope
chrstygrl06 10
Almost sounded like you were describing me.
onestarjv 3
yo ass got capped!
seekndestroy 3
no no, it was her toes, didn't you read the FML?
seekndestroy 3
oh, it actually doesn't say anything about toes. maybe i should have read the FML
SassiestLemon 2
Woulda sucked if OP had ingrown toenails and got hit on the toes.
littlemissFYL 5
Your ass is grass.
kriistalkhalifa 0
Lmao
ThatLooksSticky 16
...I don't get it.
balex_fml 0
OP got kicked with steel toe boots.
rscanlan313 0
no they were playing hid and go seal In the dark and he was wearing steel toe boots
SpeshulK 0
hide and go seal?
YtotsDI 0
ya you club a baby seal when you find them :)
spartanfan68 0
hahahaha lmao but it's actually when your found you must close an envelope
spartanfan68 0
ie there you are. damn now I have to seal three
wazupwolf 5
epic fail
reganera 0
I also didn't get it...most these fmls are written in a weird way that annoys me
j_cat187 19
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
Garyy_fml 11
^ best poem ever
josh5634 0
or rap..
spartanfan68 0
r.a.p Retards Attempting Poetry
josh5634 0
^win
forkbrother13 0
as he walked through the night he gave his brother a fright now his asshole isnt tight - william shakesphere
RapeWhistle 0
Bitchin !
tsim_fml 0
97- h.i.p.h.o.p Highly Incredible People Healing Other's Poetry (putting it to a beat/music) H.A.T.E.R.S (such as yourself) Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success. I know my word play child. Dont ever go against the rap.
Angi95 3
Wow. You guys are really creative. No conozco como. Pero puedo hablo espanol.
Freeze_fml 16
Crap.*
Garyy_fml 11
I can so see (old) Eminem rapping that.
smhansen92 0
oh shit nigga!!
atomicbaboon 0
damn! we got some original doctors up in here! aka: dr. seuss.
Garyy_fml 11
Dr Dre! Bitch Please!
hahoon11 0
124 dont use english to spanish translators it screws it up, and it makes no sense. it should say "No se como, pero puedo hablar español"
Nitial 6
Cyanide and Happiness!!
gman90210 18
No it should say it in english
mrlawlor7777 26
No sé*.
dark_path 0
OP, I believe you got a night eating syndrome. I suggest you get professional help.
SteelCladAngel 0
I go to the kitchen at 4:40 am sometimes getting myself water, getting a bottle for my daughter...maybe op has diabetes and needs to eat every so often....
jangalianxi 6
Or maybe op woke up at 4:40 to get ready for an early morning work shift or something like that and simply was going to the kitchen for breakfast? A "syndrome" is quite an assumption on so little information.
atomicbaboon 0
or dark_path was making something we in the medical profession like to call a joke. there seems to be a surplus of people on this site that suffer from a poor sense of humor. I apologize to all of those this syndrome has affected, but there is no cure.
RyDawg918 0
cool
stagefight1 0
ouch... your brother needs to burn that shit
stagefight1 0
that was not meant to be on this, that was for a chat between a friend and I..... wrong box....
Meg1Surf2Blonde3 0
kick him in the balls!! lol lights??? if u lk my comments email me
mozeltov 7
don't expect any emails
MilanKing 0
WTF?
johnson94 5
are you trying too hard to be funny?
LaughterofCorn 4
Inbox: 0
bmsalinas 13
^ Win.
FallonFerSure 6
lmao
1989mustang50 0
wow desperate I see so you are the one with the van that says FREE CANDY!!!
sheagstaz 0
haha yeah right