Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I've had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML
Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML
Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML
Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML
Today, I'm babysitting kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4 a.m. and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML
Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML
Today, I babysat the neighbors’ evil kids. They dropped them over at my house and I played with them for five hours. After taking the brats back home and putting them to bed, their mother asked me what time I came back to the house. She only paid me for the 20 minutes I was in their house. FML
Today, my son-in-law's parents were saying it was a shame our kids were so busy working that they have to babysit all day, four days a week. Me and my wife babysit three days a week, which is when we realised our kids have basically tricked us four grandparents into raising their baby all week, including weekends. FML
Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
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Top comments
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
You're not actually sitting on the children, are you?
Pleonasm 35
And? So you can get some sort of sadistic pleasure from torturing them, WITH approval from the parents, AND get paid for it???? My dream job.
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Comments (51)
baref00tmama 15
What are you doing that makes the kids hate you so much?
hiandrews69 29
What a bunch of lousy parents...
curlstar 6
The short notice part sucks, I agree, but the rest sounds like a good arrangement!
RaulGarcia30 10
How hard is it to please a kid? Give them candy or ice cream and put on cartoons or play video games and they'll admire you
lowshadows 21
Is your name Vicky by any chance? also is one of the children named Timmy Turner? lmao!
kait11 16
Well you're getting paid... That's a plus! When the kids I baby sat were bad, I threatened to leave and have my sister come baby sit them again, and they automatically behaved they didn't like her at all. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
DanielT1994 19
If the kids hate you, then you're not their friend. You're not supposed to be their friend. I obviously can't be certain on this, but I'm willing to bet you're doing it right.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Try being "fun"
GuinnessGirrrl 8
This is hilarious & one of the best FML's ever!!! Think of yourself as "Super Nanny"...You are probably more of a disciplinarian than they are as they probably cannot control their own children! Good job!
viagradoesntwork 7
Ur making bank at least