Intimacy, Health, Sex and Embarrassing: Priapism Tuesday - FML

Priapism Tuesday

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 04:00

Today, I took Viagra so we could have sex at bedtime. We fell asleep afterwards, but I must've had a reaction to the Viagra as it was still erect this morning and must have been erect all night, way longer than 4 hours. I went straight to hospital as my penis was numb and pale blue. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 220

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 893

You deserved it 4 166

I should?

By potatoehead178 - 28/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Fairfield

Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 162

You deserved it 406

Broken

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I recently got out of hospital after suffering a bad head injury. My doctor warned me I might have localised skin numbness, and it turns out I do. In my penis. Can’t feel a thing down there. We discovered this in bed, where nothing could get a rise out of me because it was completely dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 167

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 748

You deserved it 1 181

By Nightshade823 - 10/11/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 335

You deserved it 1 111

By fuuuuck - 28/01/2010 00:27 - Canada

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 069

You deserved it 8 715

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 2 008

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 474

By Poopsie - 13/08/2018 06:00

Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 412

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 587

You deserved it 875

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 August 2023 21:44

Don't worry. They're not going to have to cut your dick off. It's just going to fall off all by itself.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 29 August 2023 9:09

Blue penis or blue balls. FYL

Comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 29 August 2023 9:09

Blue penis or blue balls. FYL

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 August 2023 21:44

Don't worry. They're not going to have to cut your dick off. It's just going to fall off all by itself.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 30 August 2023 23:43

The old lit match trick didn't work? Sorry buddy, but you're screwed. And not screwed.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Scams Social Media School Kids Education Parents Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 831

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, as planned, my dad confirmed that he would be flying up to visit me for the weekend. Not planned, however, was that my whiny and high-maintenance sister invited herself along too. There's no way I can dis-invite her without offending my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 226

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 3 126

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 439

You deserved it 65 827

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 450

You deserved it 4 258

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 142

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 292