By OptimusVader - United States
  Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
OptimusVader tells us more :
Well I did mention it was rickety. It rocked while I dusted and it was just poorly made, overall. It tilted forward, the drawer slid out and I couldn't catch it in time. Then BAM! Sudden singing light show from an old woman's rabbit.
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Top comments
  Wimoweh  |  10

5- You don't take it! You take those lemons and squeeze them in life's eyes! You have the lab boys come up with some combustible lemons, and then you burn life's house down!

  OptimusVader  |  23

59, I honestly have no idea how you got that message out of my comment. The fact that it's owned by an old woman makes it not okay to use it under any circumstance. There's not enough boiling water in the world that could make it clean enough for me to even consider using it after her!

  ShyAnn29  |  14

Or OP could be honest, and say that while she was cleaning, the nightstand fell over and the dildo fell out and turned on, and she couldn't figure out how to turn it off, I doubt she'd get in trouble.

  challan  |  19

When my home was broken into, among the many things missing (TV, computer, xbox) one thing was greatly missed.... BOB. I was extremely disturbed that someone would steal that. Just, why? So, don't hide it, take the advice and let those batteries run out.