Cause when life gives you lemons....

You make rice balls. And when life gives you rice, you make jelly-filled donuts.

5 - squeeze them at people's eyes

I usually make lemonade, but I guess rice balls and temporarily blinding people are two viable options as well.

Unless life also hands you water and sugar your lemonade will suck..

Perhaps I could have. You know, if it wasn't owned and operated by a 70-year-old woman.

@OP: Oh god D:

So you're saying its okay but you gotta wash it first? Good advice OP!

I never knew the op could respond! Mind blown! I here by declare all fml to be scavenger hunts. Name: FIND! THAT! O! Peeeee!

@61: it's a new update.

64: not very new at all.

5- You don't take it! You take those lemons and squeeze them in life's eyes! You have the lab boys come up with some combustible lemons, and then you burn life's house down!

No 71, when life gives you lemons... You fuck it cause life's a bitch. How has no one heard this?

#71 you stole that right from my mind; portal rocks! Now more on topic, OP, dildon't be so quick to skip a perfect opportunity.

59, I honestly have no idea how you got that message out of my comment. The fact that it's owned by an old woman makes it not okay to use it under any circumstance. There's not enough boiling water in the world that could make it clean enough for me to even consider using it after her!

That's a horrible idea. Who knows what kind of hygiene the owner has... smell it first!!

you make vodka and sit back and relax while life tries to figure out how the fuck you did that.

Which she couldn't find.

If it doesn't, I picture this: "Dear. Do you hear that? It's a faint buzzing sou - OH GOD!!!"

Or hide it. Deep.

Bow chicka bow wow

Hide it? :) Would You want to be questioned by someone reguarding their missing dildo if you were Op? Or even silently suspected? ;)

Or OP could be honest, and say that while she was cleaning, the nightstand fell over and the dildo fell out and turned on, and she couldn't figure out how to turn it off, I doubt she'd get in trouble.

When my home was broken into, among the many things missing (TV, computer, xbox) one thing was greatly missed.... BOB. I was extremely disturbed that someone would steal that. Just, why? So, don't hide it, take the advice and let those batteries run out.

What a brilliant yet obvious idea -- I can't believe no one thought of it before you! Oh, wait... Twatwaffle.

#9, ideally, slightly below the waist ;)

Damn Perdix your on a roll!

I see what you dildo there (;

Dildid. You should have said dildid. But it's already dildead. OH AND I JUST RESURRECTED IT! Or rather, res-ERECTED it.

Why hide it? She should let it light up her day!

They might accuse OP of giving their dog the bone... wait...