Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
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Top comments
xobeachbabe 0
Be careful what you wish for!
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Wow, that's what I call an obedient dog. Are you sure it wasn't playing dead?
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Comments (195)
glassisass 0
its not your fault man! its not your fault. its not your fault
Dragonmouth 4
You have SUPERPOWERS!
The_Chuck_Norris 0
Sandwiches Rule....oh yeah FYL, but i have to say you also deserve it for thinking that
sadistmonkey 19
OK, without reading any of these comments, I predict that there'll be lots of self-righteous pet lovers who will immediately jump on this and criticize the OP without any sort of context.
Siren_00 0
Were you going to eat the cheese after it fell on the floor? I sure hope not, so that was an especially stupid thing to say to the dog.
DoMeBaby 1
Wow! I wonder how your friend feels...it's just a piece of cheese gosh you didn't have to wish that horrible thing on that innocent dog "
flinkpamingo 0
That's just funny. Sad too. And for all you boo hooers out there: You CAN'T wish something on anyone or anything and make it happen. Get over the karma crap.
lovesthesun 0
haha you win. i loved that movie
bisexualwarrior 0
So fake. That's why fml is getting old, all this crap is fake!!!
DeathShad0 1
Ok, could someone tell me how she deserves it? It's not her fault the damn dog choked on a piece of cheese. Shit, is common sense dead?
ohemgeeroxas 3
Oh, come on. I highly doubt she MEANT it. She even said "jokingly". Come on, I know we've all said something like that at some point. That was just an unfortunate accident that the dog happened to choke.