Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
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Top comments
xobeachbabe 0
Be careful what you wish for!
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Wow, that's what I call an obedient dog. Are you sure it wasn't playing dead?
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Comments (195)
DameGreyWulf 1
AHHH... Uh... awkward. Well, you did drop the cheese that choked the dog. And you did chase him, causing him to inhale the cheese... The cursing was just ironic, not fault there. FYL and YDI.
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
Op never said anything about chasing it. Op just yelled after it.
vdubz 0
DDI, don't blame him, the dog killed itself.
Beef_Sister 0
I hope a llama comes after you and ***** on your face. bitch!
jjluv456 11
No one likes you I think
fml3164 0
YDI for saying that in front of them even tho i agree the dumb ass dog shouldnt have stolen the food. they shoulda trained him better =]
Beef_Sister 0
YFDI for having a lactose intolerant dog!
Bleep_fml 0
It is her fault that she thinks she's funny if she wishes aloud that her friend's dog would choke and die. If common sense were alive in the OP, she would've realized that you just don't do that around the dog's owners, because it's not funny to them, it's offensive.
Puolukka 4
Oh come on, it's NOT that big of a deal. It was a JOKE. My husband has said it to me before plenty of times during dinner or just while eating, whenever I took the last piece of pizza etc. He'd laugh and say "Hey yo, that was my piece I hope you choke on it and die"...needless to say I'm still very alive...so...
Sparkey 0
oops double post
ohaliciamarie 0
god bless you haha. best comment yet
Kenpachi_fml 0
Might as well eat to save up space and money
fluffypoo09 0
It's not unusual for an animal to take food that was dropped on the floor. It's not like he jumped up and ripped it out of her hands or stole it from the counter. She dropped it, so he ate it...
mkebrewers 0
wow, the economy must be bad in california if you're fighting over a piece of cheese with a dog...
oogyboogy 6
hey you shouldnt have done that im with PUTA (people for the unethical treatment of animals). ha ha im kidding but i really am from PETA (people eating tasty animals) lol i couldnt help it
mochiko 0
#20 FTW
TrickQuestion 0
#21 ftw.
darkmis1 18
boo!!!!!!! in with PETA(people for the ethical treatment of animals). thats not funny!
sublime93 0
Actually, it was funny Hilarious really
latkematzoball 0
im withpeta to, but u gotta aadmit, its funny
allmidnighteyes 11
Everybody's hurtin' bro
iFruit 0
Why would you say that?
lifeisabitch9 0
WITCH!!!!!!!!
heyheyhey3 0
ahah #12.. good one.