Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xobeachbabe 0
Be careful what you wish for!
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Wow, that's what I call an obedient dog. Are you sure it wasn't playing dead?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
darkmis1 18
that poor dog! youre horrible!
CryingHowls 0
becareful what u wish for.
eckina 0
this is so fake.
GreenMeanie 0
somewhere michael vick laughed
Nickel05 15
if this is real then you are a horrible human being. if this is fake then you are pathetic for trying to make up a story just to get on a website. you obviously have no life.
driedpeaches 0
Shit happens, dogs fault, not like you killed it trying to wrestle the cheese back
bemo12 0
I wish you had died instead, OP.
goatlove 0
How is this fake? Who would make this up?
IamSpartacus 0
This isn't an FML. That dog deserved it because it stole your cheese. I hate dogs that do stuff like that. I know, I know, that's how dogs act, but that just means that they are even more annoying!
ohaliciamarie 0
Soooo unbelievably fake. Now please go get a piece of cheese choke on it and die ;D ps it wasn't even funny