Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
twist_n_shout 0
I think #30 was getting more at the fact that you referred to a period as "pissing blood"...
ANTONKR 0
You should ground your dad for 3 weeks
hatcher 0
Having a period makes you capable of breeding. It does not make you mature. Also, your dad is hilarious.
highwind886 0
I agree, her dad is awesome. Way to put her in her place. Just because you can have sex and make babies doesn't make you an adult. Besides, girls can have their period as early as 11 years old, even younger nowadays. Even if you were twenty I wouldn't call you an adult with a stupid response like that.
Alexgoesfml 3
Agreeing with #27 here.
xHaniffax 0
Seems like the OP is the immature one, not the Dad. You're not a woman until you start acting like one. Just because blood comes out of your ****** doesn't mean you're mentally developed enough to be a "woman". I can tell just from this FML that your dad is right and he was just trying to teach you a lesson. Learn from it.
dearladydisdain 0
oooooooooooooooooh nooooooooooooooo periods are just sooooooooooo embarrassing. i mean you are in quite the minority there. :rolleyes:
lovemusic1694 0
OP, it was definitely immature of you to make that assumption, but FYL because your dad chose to publicly embarrass you about a private fight that you had. That's horrible.
angryseatroll 5
You aren't a woman. Because technichally speaking, a woman is an adult female. And you have not reached adulthood until you are 18 . And I by the way you said this I can only figure that you are under 18. But, that still really sucks. Your dad is an ass.
lm_wfc 0
YDI for bringing up your period in a conversation with your dad. nasty
ihatestupidppl 0
Hey, if you're so much of a "woman", why would you be embarrassed to have other people know about it? Your dad is not the immature one here, get over yourself.