Work: Crimefighters

Crimefighters

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 19:56 - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 389

You deserved it 3 874

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 518

You deserved it 4 237

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 195

You deserved it 2 571

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 131

Nice day for a picnic

By litterbug - 06/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 101

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 889

You deserved it 24 406

Trash

By Anonymous - 02/04/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 808

You deserved it 417

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 3 971

Bad boys bad boys

By Tom - 17/08/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 108 466

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 281

You deserved it 3 793

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 042

You deserved it 1 806

Cheezburger_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:59

Crazy ladies in the park always have bird seed to throw. FYL

sayhello_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:00

How does bird seed dirty a suit?

Comments

jrwxoxo 12

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:07

Since when does she have the right to speak to you at all? Let alone criticize you without knowing the situation you were referring to.

Epic_Phailure 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:42

If you were actually a criminal, wouldn't you actually be in jail... Why was that old lady even eavesdropping on your conversation anyways? o_0

Lonely_Lez 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 9:27

Do the terms "bail" and "released on one's own recognisance" ring any bells for you?

eric780 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:44

you should have bitch slapped her

Schmuty 2

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:54

what a judging b****

Uconnrunner 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 7:28

that bitch sounds like my mom. She assumes anyything and assumes she is right. I hate that so much

plexico 3

Saturday 4 July 2009 7:35

No, she probably thought (correctly) that you were a lawyer!

24788 6

Saturday 4 July 2009 7:36

Well she likes to judge and even before she has all the facts.

mattcoll777 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:03

you're a lawyer... you deserved it

jewelzgalore 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:13

A bit overdramatic, don't you think? "Dirtying [your] suit?" They're seeds. Just brush them off.

crazyjack 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:32

Ummm what about EXPLAINING? I would've given her my card and left. That face would look like it's been shit on!!

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I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 250

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You deserved it 2 457

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I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 295

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You deserved it 1 369

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I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 181

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I agree, your life sucks 12 668

You deserved it 91 902