Creepypasta, Stalker and Miscellaneous: Creeped out

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 600

You deserved it 3 766

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Same thing different taste

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 3 904

Not a morning person at the best of times

By shouldhavestayedinbed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 685

You deserved it 2 162

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 852

You deserved it 3 407

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 4 474

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 858

You deserved it 30 044

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 4 226

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 4 501

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 890

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 705

You deserved it 6 287

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 889

You deserved it 291

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 19 May 2009 9:52

Get a (big) dog. Change your locks. Buy a shotgun.

lyndis_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 9:53

Well, you do. A golf ball at the door seemed less creepy than a note on your bedside table. Sorry if I scared you.

Comments

jillz 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:17

If something happens to you, that golf ball should already be evidence in the possession of the police. If he watched you once, he'll find ways to watch you again. I know how you feel. Start taking pictures of the surroundings around your house. You may just find him in the background of a few. FYL

LoveToSmile101 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:29

Lmao at # 19 Wow..Stalker much. I suggest you make sure your doors are locked. Or i don't know MOVE and soon.. Serious FYL

NuclearWinter 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:29

Is this not one of the most poorly worded fmls ever?

DizzyDemon0 9

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:34

Glad you found it :D I'll be up tonight darling.

mylifeisfuckedd 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:35

That is majorly creepy report it!!! And if you live alone, you should probably keep a gun for protection... And yes that can fit on a golf ball

mattmag 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:36

Tell the police.

Swan_fml 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 15:39

Keep the evidence, tell the police, record all phone calls. Get better shades. oh, maybe s/he has a camera set up in your room. have a good look around.