Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
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Top comments
burntoast 0
Wow, you must have been really early the first time.
angel12689 0
Um.... Why is this labeled intimacy? Does someone need a dictionary?
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Comments (65)
burntoast 0
Wow, you must have been really early the first time.
Jae87 0
I know, right? I was thinking the same thing.
angel12689 0
Um.... Why is this labeled intimacy? Does someone need a dictionary?
divineinstrument 2
Wow, more comments about the "intimacy" label than anything else it was probably an accident?
ZoZo17_fml 0
intimacy.? it's labeled "miscallaneous", dipshit.
rafaelaugusto94 0
sucks it means theres any place safe
irishdubr 0
Maybe he got intimate with his bike?
iambatman123 0
Not even "he." "She" must have gotten intimate with her bike. Sounds painful.
itscalledkarma 0
I am refraining from voting FYL or YDI because I do not understand the logic of this.. 0.o How is a stolen bike intimate? How'd you have time to ride home? Why didn't you put the bike somewhere safe if you were so concerned about it?
ndvorsky 4
1 it's labeled intimate, deal with it 2 Obviously he did have time don't ask stupid questions it does not matter how he had time 3 He put it in his backyard, that is usually considered safe
aback 5
It was meant to be.
SarcasticKid 0
Get a dictionary. "Intamicy" means the same thing a "Sex". Der!
Tbuccola 0
Ok...Why didn't you put it in a garage or something? Haha. Are you an over-achieving employee? Because that was extremely early for work arrival. Did you learn to use your bike lock at home, too? Sorry, champ.
sirmixalot 0
Why not drive ur car the 1st time?