Birthday, Deez Nuts and Kids: Counterstrike

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 3 502

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 56 287

By xoVioLoveox - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 300

You deserved it 13 280

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 247

You deserved it 3 516

Gun culture is fascinating

By Gun safety - 21/12/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 253

Weird kid

By LGraham - 16/06/2020 20:08

Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 336

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 224

You deserved it 3 629

You did ask…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2012 00:22 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 972

You deserved it 4 361

By just me - 13/05/2012 18:54 - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 207

You deserved it 3 483

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 18:01

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 374

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 4 396

lainzilla 14

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:42

That isn't how you play laser tag?

chasin_butterfli 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:21

Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?

Comments

ipooprainbows 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:19

I'm gonna say the kid probably knew how to play lazer tag, he just felt like kicking you in the balls... win!

paramorefan125 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:14

LOL

lainzilla 14

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:42

That isn't how you play laser tag?

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:43

Shoot him back in the balls, the radiation from the laser could be harmful in the long term, if you get what I'm saying...

stewie1744 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:56

dumbass. it's a lazor. not some radioactive beam

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:16

They emit photons at a high velocity, which is enough to cause ionisation in your cell's DNA. If you weren't so arrogant, you'd have shut up before you embarrassed yourself.

YeahFMLxX 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:19

she spelt laser wrong, both of you stop being trolls. (:

money_over_rules 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:19

Yeah, lasers can do that, but the ones they use for laser tag are barely stronger than the lasers they use for barcode scanners.

Averizzle 0

Monday 1 February 2010 1:09

Wow nice nerd talk for something as insignificant as laser tag lasers. They won't do any damage to

Averizzle 0

Monday 1 February 2010 1:10

a man's testicles

ShadowlessSpear 21

Sunday 5 October 2014 19:43

*boy's*

dillonc11 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:56

why does everybody get kicked in the nuts it's un-nessary

stewie1744 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:00

but it's funny as hell

moose91894 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 21:18

no it's not

ZleveL 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 7:38

yeah if your a girl it might be funny, but for men it feels worse then have a period while shoving 3 dry cucumbers in your ass at once will hanging from a rope that's hooked through your nipples.