Birthday, Deez Nuts and Kids: Counterstrike

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 374

You deserved it 3 495

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 238

By xoVioLoveox - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 274

You deserved it 13 269

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 226

You deserved it 3 513

Weird kid

By LGraham - 16/06/2020 20:08

Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 205

You deserved it 3 615

You did ask…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2012 00:22 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 954

You deserved it 4 344

By just me - 13/05/2012 18:54 - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 187

You deserved it 3 474

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 18:01

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 370

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 4 379

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 383

lainzilla 14

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:42

That isn't how you play laser tag?

chasin_butterfli 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:21

Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?

Comments

clos14 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 15:49

hey this guy said he hatd america help me show em who rues by spamming him 678-389-0028

ShadowlessSpear 21

Sunday 5 October 2014 19:44

Excuse me?

meatkilla73 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 15:57

people still play laser tag?

kych2010 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:01

Lol

HermonieGranger 0

Monday 1 February 2010 21:49

lol, indeed!

Aspie 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:34

You have just lost The Game.

hedgehogs 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:40

If I had been hosting the party, I would have called his parents to pick him up. No more party for anyone who does that.

anela_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:42

whyyyyyy lie to your therapist they can't tell any one?!!!

anela_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:43

stupid copy and paste I tried to write (anything to score)

hedgehogs 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:59

Nooo, not entirely true. They are obligated to notify anyone whom you've threatened with physical violence and (I think) also law enforcement. They are designated reporters when it comes to child abuse and neglect, at least in the U.S., meaning they have to call Child Protective Services in those instances.

deathcorp25 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:04

wow, this kid must've been pretty tall to reach your nuts with his foot...

stewie1744 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:58

or the guy was jus really short

FerrariCake 2

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:37

What do you mean "explained the rules"? Kicking in the balls is perfectly legit in laser tag. Whatever it takes to win.

blastvortex 3

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:50

Yup. Being kicked in the joy department is a good way to get some hits in. No blood means no foul, though the kid's parent(s) deserve a profound beating, but you can do that later.