Buzzwords

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

Today, a customer complained that one of our cashiers smiles too much. FML

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML