Maybe there is a reason, but would you ever tell your sister this?

Tell her what? She knows already and I accept her for whom she is. Unlike her trying to change me. I just need to prepare myself first. (:

Well I thought she didn't know. I was just trying to point out that it could be hurtful for OP to hear that her own family doesn't like her visiting. To me, that is the worst part about this FML.

....or it could be a guy. Either way, feelings could be hurt. I'm glad you and your sister are able to communicate.

You're an idiot

Why, because there are three sides to every story and I think it's rude to just randomly 'show up' at someone's house, even if they are family?

First off: you seem like a very non-flexible person. People like that often are really annoying to other people because other people seem to often be "rude" to them. Second: there is nothing wrong with family or friends coming by without a warning - that's what people that are comfortable with each other do. Sometimes a surprise visit can be a good thing. If you're in the middle of something, just don't open the door or say that you're busy right now.

I'm sorry but why is it rude to stop by a family members house for a visit? That's what normal families do. If they're busy, then they just say so. And sometimes it's nice to have a family member drop by unannounced.

I don't consider myself overly inflexible, though I guess I could see (in this instance) why I might seem that way. I personally feel that just showing up at someone's house - family or not - is rude. I wouldn't do it to someone else because I wouldn't want it done to me. Sometimes I'm just not prepared for company (maybe I'm tired, or my apartment is messy, or I have plans). I also couldn't just ignore someone if they were at the door, so I'd probably end up being crankier than intended if someone just showed up, and I'm not very good with being assertive and telling someone I need them to leave, so I'd probably end up just letting them stay and thinking uncharitable thoughts about them. I mean, I love my brother, but if he showed up with his wife and all four kids unannounced, I'd probably want to slam the door in his face. Loving your family (or even them just being family) doesn't make rude acts less rude. It doesn't take a lot of forethought to even just call or text someone with a quick, "Hey, I'm in the neighbourhood, is it alright if I stop by?", and to me it's far more polite than just showing up. Aaand... that was very tl;dr, sorry.

OK, I give you a thumb up for that one - it's a good explanation. I think you might need some more confidence though. If you really would like people to think of you as a tidy person, jut make it a habit to place things in their places. If you're afraid of people seeing you with greasy hair or something like that, put it up in a ponytail - it happens to other people too. Also: most people like people that can show themselves off although not looking their best better than people that have too little confidence to do so. Sometimes not opening the door is OK - I think most people would manage to figure out, if they know you're at home, that you're busy. I would much rather like that than be met with cranky. Flexibility is a very good personal trait to have.

There's nothing wrong with dropping in on a friend or family member. People have done that to my family and we like it. None of us have been so busy as to not be able to sit down and talk to someone. And if we aren't there...well I guess they just go home. No harm done.

Haha, yeah I've been told (even by my own parents) that I need to be more assertive. It's how I always end up working extra shifts at work and stuff, because I don't feel like I have a 'good enough reason', I can't say no. @28, I think it's just because it's how I was raised. My parents always told me that it was rude to just show up somewhere unannounced and uninvited, and like I said, I wouldn't want it done to me, so I don't do it to other people.

18 QueenSaru, don't you worry, some of us agree with you-- even if they don't comment due to fear of getting thumbed down. :P I hate surprise visits (family or not!) This is the exact reason I pay so much money to live in my gated community. All visitors are announced 15 minutes before they're able to knock on my door. :P

Can't we all just get along? Everyone is right. Family should be able to drop by at a whim. It's also common courtesy to call before you come.

Well you call or text before I drop in at my sisters and family all the time and get visits from them too :) it's not rude they're your family and you love them

That was my first thought too.

So its an intervention against him because it will ruin the friendship, and the "less awkward" part was about hiding it from OP, the "more fun" was a cover up...

Uhm, pretty sure the reason was that she's awkward and her friend isnt? But I dunno, that's just my interpretation of the clearly written text.