Miscellaneous: Today, we were doing a group project in class. The girl I have...

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, we were doing a group project in class. The girl I have a crush on came to ask me if I was alone and I said yes. She took the chair next to me and walked away. FML

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4953

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Miscellaneous

Walk the line

Empathy lives

It's complicated

By Welpthatwasfast

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

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15301

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By Anonymous - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16928

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41825

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By Anonymous - Germany - Ammerndorf

The cheek!

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51896

You deserved it

5278

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By eMmA01 - United States

Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46311

You deserved it

13600

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By Bunsofpain - United States

Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10163

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4209

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By Anonymous

Only tighty whities

Today, my brother aged 12 years old tried doing laundry for the first time and ruined all my clothes with bleach. When my dad drove him to Walmart to buy replacement clothes for me, he bought me tighty whities. We both have worn boxers our whole lives. My dad won't return them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1818

You deserved it

311

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By Workworkwork

Today, I’m trying to scrape $65 together to get the cheapest glasses possible. My partner is equally upset because she wants a Macbook to replace her working laptop. I’m only looking because I’m getting headaches from how old my current lenses are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2017

You deserved it

222

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By Anonymous

Today, changing the garbage in the bathroom at work resulted in a hospital visit after an incorrectly disposed used needle scraped into my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4005

You deserved it

202

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By Anonymous

Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2799

You deserved it

625

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By Anonymous - 23/1/2021 11:01

Intrusive thoughts

Today, in a seminar held by my country's government and the UN, I suddenly realized how stupid the reason for my recent breakup was. So, I ran out of the hall under the stares of over a hundred people and started bawling my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

576

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377

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By ImNotFat - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

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31843

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By heartbroke - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44394

You deserved it

3450

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By Forgotten Birthday Girl

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4863

You deserved it

264

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By anonymous - United Kingdom - Lancaster

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35869

You deserved it

3968

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By storksleuth - United States

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34817

You deserved it

5550

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By Hover Hand - United States - Merchantville

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

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9119

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22887

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By username - United States

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38453

You deserved it

16456

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By Anony Mous - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40677

You deserved it

4819

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By CB4 - United States

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49536

You deserved it

2425

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22809

You deserved it

2317

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By mylifesucks - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks

123140

You deserved it

7002

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By Mak1 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

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79535

You deserved it

4645

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By FML - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22092

You deserved it

36195

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By noname - United States - Alexandria

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29108

You deserved it

4449

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By HomelessGirl1 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

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23710

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10790

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By hendrix1 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36525

You deserved it

4500

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By JoanT - 14/7/2020 09:43

"Nice alarm you've got there"

Today, I woke myself up by pinching my nipple between my elbow and the bed. This isn’t the first time. FML

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243

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By poop - United States

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30648

You deserved it

4168

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By hypercrite dad - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

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40030

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27104

You deserved it

7508

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By Noname - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64847

You deserved it

14190

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By sumhub94 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49558

You deserved it

3903

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By dramaqueen - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48955

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By none - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

59181

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By KiloLima01 - Australia

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30127

You deserved it

4207

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By Anonymous - 17/5/2021 14:01

Enjoy yourself

Today, I woke up after a 16-hour shift, and my back is out. I worked it in order to "enjoy" my 2 days off. I can barely move. FML

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824

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By LifeSucks

Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3969

You deserved it

192

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By jojolee68 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28814

You deserved it

2782

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By Anonymous - 20/8/2020 05:02

Stiff

Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1757

You deserved it

381

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By Ciara - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

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10225

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34993

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Top comments

By Regulate | 21

#7458394 - Sunday 21 May 2017 21:11

Why didn't she just ask if the chair was free?

By cloudish | 22

#7458386 - Sunday 21 May 2017 21:03

Seems like we Germans are quite good at unrequited crushes. I feel with you :/

COMMENTS

By cloudish | 22

#7458386 - Sunday 21 May 2017 21:03

Seems like we Germans are quite good at unrequited crushes. I feel with you :/

By Regulate | 21

#7458394 - Sunday 21 May 2017 21:11

Why didn't she just ask if the chair was free?

zinoxity | 23

#7458562 - Monday 22 May 2017 10:02

Well because it could go something like this:
Girl: Hey is this seat taken?
OP: Nope *thinks to himself: yay she's going to sit with me*
*Girl takes chair*
*OP writes FML*