Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
KingCeltic77 18
That's really shitty.
kickuwithmyfist 1
Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D
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Comments (107)
weepingangel_fml 7
How... romantic... O_o
immaMonsta 8
Ugh. I don't understand how some people can be turned on by that, but I guess everyone is different. You get an A for effort for giving it a try though.
FailBear920 19
He didn't even want to try in the first place!
GreenAppleDP 0
Maybe she really thought you would like it? there are some guys that do actually like that.
nitemastr15 17
And usually those are the guys that take dick up their ass too. Not that I have anything against gays.
waddell10 0
Gay ones.....
hqbrat 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell her that Guys are not like girls, cause clearly you certainly didn't get pleaser ;)
Aspen_Grace33 27
I know a lot of people get off on that kind of thing, but it just seems so wrong! Hopefully you told her you didn't like it so she will refrain from doing it next time.
hqbrat 8
Tell her guys are not like girls. Because based on this you certainly didn't get pleaser
hqbrat 8
What the heck now it shows me my comment twice!?!!?!?
insane451 4
Don't be such a prude, if you relax it can feel good and make you cum a lot more by stimulating the prostate
NoReservations 9
Well, if she claims it feels so good for a finger to be there I bet she likes anal.. So that is now attainable. I'm glad my boyfriend thinks that's gross. *Shudder*
vcapelo 19
Your boyfriend is lying!
tjgarrick 8
He definitely wants it
NoReservations 9
If he tells me he wants it I'm going to tell him he's lying, and trying to be too mainstream. Or I can just say no, either way it isn't going to happen. Who would want their joystick there anyway?
Sinkhole 26
Maybe someone with no reservations?
NoReservations 9
That one was actually good. But whether I get thumbed down or not, I don't like the idea of it. That's not what its for at all. The tears that occur during that can lead to serious problems. If I say no, it means no. Everyone has a right to control what doesn't happen in their sex life.
asherah14 7
I find it odd your screen name is No Reservations and yet here you are talking about how gross anal play is.
teotsi 28
#63 pointed that out already...
Brannie 4
that's just wrong.
dellis44 7
wait til you see what she does during sex ;D