Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
KingCeltic77 18
That's really shitty.
kickuwithmyfist 1
Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D
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Comments (107)
tony1891 22
she was checking your prostate. can never be to cautious when it comes to your health.
starwind3438 9
Thumbing down Noor is blasphemy. I won't stand for it.
suzy90 1
my hubby is ticklish there lol I only stick my finger up there to annoy him
Laksejohn 2
You're lucky bro. Wish my gf would do stuff like that, but she's as stuck up as a stick.
waddell10 0
And apparently you like to be.....
lolfood 24
Now you know how anal feels
copo37 7
In all seriousness. Maybe you should just do your own five finger nut *******. Hers doesn't sound enjoyable at all.
missprude666 3
Now you know how anal sex feels.
I_Punch_Babies 7
while in the shower together my wife sometimes likes to soap up her finger and stick it up my butt. OP is right. it does feel really awkward and causes me to clench my asscheeks for fear i might accidentally shit everywhere. jetstreaming the asshole is similar but without a solid object being stuck in there and actually feels good. warning: may cause diahhrea.
meena1988 5
Most men like that cause slightly up the bum is where the mans g-spot is.
Ohreo 2
Guess she failed at stimulating the male g spot