Class Wars - UK Edition

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 14:01

Today, my wife blames me for our son having a “posh” accent, because she thinks he’ll be bullied at school. I’m a Yorkshireman and use “ey up”, “ow do” , “pillock” and “arse” in everyday conversation, whereas my wife was raised in Oxford, I doubt I’m the one making our son sound posh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 233

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 100

You deserved it 6 025

Love thy neighbour

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 06:00

Today, after I was finally able to afford a house in a nicer area so my kids could go to a better school, I was practically in the house for about 30 seconds before I started getting messages from neighbours, insinuating they don’t appreciate “my sort” and I should, “piss off back to Muslim-land.” I was born in Oxford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 127

2003 TV flashback

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 18:00

Today, my son brought home a girlfriend who actually talks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain. I simply couldn’t take her seriously, or even understand what she was talking about. This has to be a prank. In fact, it better be because it’s not funny. My son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 290

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 506

You deserved it 2 752

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 01:37 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 704

You deserved it 4 228

#1 Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 19/06/2020 05:02

Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 454

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

By singleandthankful - 23/02/2013 23:18 - United Kingdom - Beaconsfield

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 241

You deserved it 4 854

Bruvophobia

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 22:35 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 626

You deserved it 20 455

By kdubz23 - 17/02/2014 22:41 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 878

You deserved it 3 385

RichardPencil 30

Friday 19 June 2020 18:14

Is it just me? I'm imagining a kid in a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe and hurling Elizabethan insults at other children. "Ye eater of foul meats!" Anyone with me?

Ambrily 27

Friday 19 June 2020 21:03

If you get called a fascist a lot, maybe there's something wrong with the way you express your opinions.

Comments

bloopaloop 27

Friday 19 June 2020 16:34

It’s called Freudian projection. In the US it’s like someone hating you and calling you fascist for not thinking exactly like them.

Ambrily 27

Friday 19 June 2020 21:03

If you get called a fascist a lot, maybe there's something wrong with the way you express your opinions.

bloopaloop 27

Friday 19 June 2020 23:32

That’s the thing about fascists. If you DONT express an opinion, they do that.

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 20 June 2020 17:23

Orrrr it has nothing to do with that. At all.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 19 June 2020 18:14

Is it just me? I'm imagining a kid in a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe and hurling Elizabethan insults at other children. "Ye eater of foul meats!" Anyone with me?