Alexa, play "Patchwork" by Tindersticks

By OneYearMistake. - 22/07/2009 23:35 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
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You deserved it 6 115
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Top comments

RESTAREA 0

He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you

162 4
coopcas 0

Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.

151 3

Comments

cliffbiker 0

the left over love juice is pretty romantic

62 7
DrAwesome 6

Hell, if that's not romantic, then I don't know what is...

6 3
sherryterry3 0

That has got to be the most DISGUSTING thing I've ever heard. My goodness, men are just PIGS. Don't get me wrong, women are too but seriously? That's romantic? I'd hate to think how he would propose to someone... cook up a meal and use his sperm as dressing... just because it would be the perfect occasion... eating their "babies".

7 31
Desapig 0

hurrrrrrrr I'm a feminist...men r pigs and wimin are sooo much better hurrrrrr

23 33
Maniac_Taco 0

You're a feminist and only think men are worse because you can't spell. 'Hurr'.

3 21
diabetic_rage 0

#97 I love you. and #112, you're an idiot.

21 14
Broc 0

112, You're SO retarded... When you read this in your head, I want you to really put some emphasis on the "SO." Maybe then you'll get it.

6 8
bbobe900000 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA #178... 'use his sperm as dressing' hahaha u have no idea how much this made me laugh

5 3
silentmusic 0

awww....ydi! he spent alot of time wtih u on that! it would be really mean to just not accept it.

3 2
hellokittywhore 0

that's ummmm ..... charming I guess. honestly I'm at a loss for words. :/

1 1
SneakyMuffin 0

Hahaha... No men are awesome. We kill we eat meat we can defend ourselves we can do EVERYTHING!!!

4 2
spazz666 18

I'm female and I can do all of those things plus withstand child birth. I don't see the point of your comment, unless you're saying that you think men are better than women. It's called equality.

0 0
sexymessy 0

Agree agree! Not so sure "its the thought that counts" really applies here...

10 4
intotheblue 0

Yeah that's freaky... Might want to run the other way...

6 0
Maniacfive 0

Agreed! Get the hell out girl! get the hell out! how long had he been cutting away the bits on those sheets?! Creepy.

11 0
redrovaa 0

Jandude needs to get a more original haircut.

7 4
Pinkerton726 0

Sounds like somebody's getting used tampons for their birthday/Christmas...

77 1
Sun_Kissed18 25

Best comment award! Hahaha thats perfect. OP: uuuhhmmm... Its the thought that counts? Heh

2 11
RESTAREA 0

He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you

162 4
coopcas 0

Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.

151 3
sahara_fml 0

This is the best response I've ever read; you, sir, win the internet.

7 2
plexico 3

Oooh, I'd be smelling my sleeve all day!

3 2
cherrydrop 0

i got an account solely for the purpose to tell you that your comment is awesome. the best thing ive read on FML. :P

11 2
ReasonsToFly 0

When he's sleeping at night put the stains on his face.

2 9
Tubasaurus 0

It's safe to assume that he would only be turned on by that.

17 0
Emico_fml 0

Didn't Tracey Emin do something like that?

4 0
doof_fisch 2

This isn't totally without precedent. In biblical times, the groom would go into the wedding chamber with his virgin wife. The best man would be stationed outside the chamber. When the marriage was consummated the bridegroom would let out a shout of happiness. The blood-stained sheet would then become a sort of trophy because it proved that the bride had saved her virginity until marriage (as the Bible requires.)

16 9
Elphie_fml 0

No, she would be bleeding if she was a virgin and hadn't had sex before. If she didn't bleed, they'd assume she had already had sex outside the marriage, although not everyone bleeds their first time.

17 0
divineinstrument 2

Girls bleed when they lose their virginity? Ew, I thought was very uncommon. I mean, I know the first time is usually very uncomfortable for the girl, but that's just sick. Why th Also, if not ALL girls bleed after their first time, what happened to the ones who didn't bleed after their first time? Were they assumed to be non-virgins and fed to the lions or something? Christianity fails

6 34
plexico 3

Actually, they would also bring a small amount of chicken blood with them to stain the sheet in case the bride's hymen had broken earlier in her life. There are ways that can happen that are totally non-sexual.

1 0
awesomelylame 0

You sort of fail for not knowing that #62.

22 3
sixtrey 0

I'm 100% sure my current gf was a virgin and she didn't bleed, she did had alot of pain but no blood i know some girls bleed like my ex but it varries from girl to girl FYL for not knowing that xD

2 8
spazz666 18

If you can't learn proper grammar you shouldn't be having sex.

7 1