Alas, poor Salem

By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 683
You deserved it 2 749

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FYLDeep 25

Well I hope that bitch is locked up in a jail-cell now.

Tell her human bites cause cancer. Then bite her.


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Not really. But why would she take your cat over fleas? Does your cat have fleas or something?

Why not just buy your kids a honey-badger. They wouldn't end up in pieces.

leadman1989 15

Op should ask, well then how the hell do people get brain cancer? Neighbor - *head explodes

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XenaWP 6

Well generally in suburbia we allow our cat to see sunlight and go for a wander during the day.. So either you live in sky-rise city, have never had a cat, or are a pretty mean cat owner...

46, the word "stolen" would be how OP's neighbor got te cat.

If my psychotic neighbor stole my cat, I would probably confront him with my bat.

This is true. It is proven that indoor cats live longer. They are almost completely protected against contagious diseases, not to mention being hit by cars and other animals. As well, of course, from ****** up people.

My cat likes to go outside to use the bathroom, and protect his territory. He is fixed so he doesn't run around looking to mate. My cat, is awesome.

NurseHolly 3

Our cat stays indoors... And we're most certainly not "mean" pet owners. This way she doesn't end up dead on the side of the road or a snack for larger animals... I doubt the rescues we foster for would consider us mean.

MissBoo101 0

**** that bitch, go over to the house and find the cat and **** the bitch up!

aruam365 24

53- Cats who are allowed outdoors life-span's are significantly shortened in general but also they can be hit by cars (even in the suburbs!) or attacked by another animal, pick up diseases or parasites from other animals, or even just get lost, and etc. So it's extremely irresponsible to allow your cat to leave the safety of your home. My cats are perfectly content to lay around the house all day!

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I can't believe no one has mentioned: policeman and I*

XenaWP 6

Well I shall refute your indoor cats live longer with when I was a kid our family cats were always allowed out and they both lived to 19. My cat who has always been allowed out is currently 17 and going strong. :) similar situations with a few friends of mine. :) and yes there is a higher chance of cats getting hit by cars but most cats are generally smart enough to avoid them- if the cat is stupid enough to walk out in front of something fast moving maybe it should be removed from the feline gene pool.. :p and personally, I would rather take that small chance and let my cat roam around as it is more natural for a cat to climb and play on trees etc than lay around gaining weight. But remember to put a bell on it with a tight-ish collar (so it can't strangle itself) and get your cat SPAYED or CASTRATED. :)

If you want to have outdoor cats, fine, but saying people who keep indoor pets are cruel is just rude and incorrect. Cats can be happy indoors or outdoors. Don't judge what you don't know.

Jvr91 8
julio1221 0

Invest in a dog it's a much better companion.

XenaWP 6

162- I know right?! Cat essays are awesome.

Adovock 6

My best friend has two cats, and he lets his cats out whenever they want. They 1: have never been horribly sick, 2: have never been eaten, 3: have never been run over. They love being outside and wandering. Just because cats are lazy doesn't mean they don't enjoy the freedom. What if I kept you inside your house with a bowl of food and water for the rest of your life? It'd protect you from diseases and animals and cars, but would you be happy?

tandem123 6

176- will I still have my computer?

@109 "beat her with a bat! yes I did! with a bat! I beat her with a bat, for she stole my cat!"

Yes, cats really do want to roam. I too had cats that were indoor outdoor as a child and they lived to be very old. I love dogs more than cats, but lets face it cats are a lot more savvy than dogs when it comes to crossing the street and fighting. my cats used to beat my dog up all the time. drive down a country road sometime. You are going to see far more dogs who have been hit than cats.

Irresponsible? No. Letting your cats outside is a good chance for them to get dreads CLEAN air. And to catch mice and stuff. It is most certainly not irresponsible to let your cats go outside

FYLDeep 25

Well I hope that bitch is locked up in a jail-cell now.

m0tl3ycru3 0

Or has to get the OP a new cat

leadman1989 15

Hopefully... but if not op should go over there dressed as a furry.

juturnaamo 29

Probably not. Do you know how much most cats are worth? About $20. Basically, the punishment will be the same as if the neighbor had taken two CDs out of OPs car and broke them.

blacksswan 10

$20? Yea right ; in my area they cost $75 & up. I had to pay 150 for my cat who was spayed + came with all shots. Than another $110 to get her treated for ear mites & URI the shelter failed to inform me about. The only $20 cat you will get is from Craiglist. I hope this bitch gets Locked up.

rudegirlmania 10

Jail cell? Sounds more like she needs one of those nice white rooms with the pillows on the wall

OMG this makes me wanna cry :( i really hope your neighbor is in a jail-cell

juturnaamo 29

So the 'blue book' on your cat *might* be the 150 you paid, not any of the money for treatments. But why would you pay that much? The ones at SPCA come with shots.

stacianichole 2

You can get a cat for free just about anywhere. Vets can be expensive, especially to properly care for an animal. $20 will never be enough for all the care a cat (even a free one) needs. Or you can be a neglectful owner and not get it fixed, regular shots or flea control.

You could save money by doing "at home" medical care on your cat.

The ones at SPCA do come with shots... And cost about 150+. Go buy a cat and see how much it costs you to raise.

In Alabama, most cats are free. There are no shelters around my area for cats, and people don't care if they get them spayed/neutered and don't care that there are way too many cats around here. People don't want to pay for cats. We found ours next to train tracks alone, so we had to rescue him. He has been the best cat since. I think we only took him to the vet once, to get neutered, and he's perfectly healthy.

blacksswan 10

Honestly a animal is never free. Even if you pick one off the street you still will be paying for him/her when you visit a vet, buy food and toys. & people should not be treating any animal at home if you aren't so sure about what you are doing or what they might have. Sometimes home care can make problems worse. It sickens me when people refuse to pay for their own pets medical needs. Why do you have one if you dont want to pay when they get sick? My cat was so complicated the first 5 months. I thought I adopted a 100% healthy cat. I was basically visiting her vet every month :/ (ear mites, URI, inflammed intestines) so they can cost a lot! But luckily she settled in fine after a while just fine. But trust me animals are worth every penny.

87- My cat is worth $500. It took another $500 to pay for him to get neutered and declawed. Not to mention him getting his shots, buying toys, and buying other things like food, kitty litter, toys, nail clippers, and furball medicine. Cats are expensive, not just $20. But it's all worth it.

37- cats are not 20 bucks and no matter the price, OP's cat could have been priceless to OP's family. Animals take up spaces in hearts, so it's not easy to replace them.

tandem123 6

125- why would you get nail clippers if they're declawed? Or was it only on the front paws?

37, you have no concern for a life, even though it's a cat, it's a life. Oh, if you lost yours, your family would care? You can't just throw cats out and get more. You're ******* retarded if you think that way. Animals form bonds with people, it's not that simple to just do that. By the way, mountain dew is nasty.

Velocity98 2

Really?!? Cats are NO WHERE NEAR 20$!! Do some research before saying Something so dumb

37- During your "increments of free time" you claim to have, you should consider doing some research on the average cost of owning/buying a cat..rather than spewing stupidity on FML. If you think cats cost $20, you either basically abuse your cat by not providing it with the necessities it should have.... or you're just an idiot. I'm going to go with you being an idiot since I don't even own a cat and I know that they cost WAY more than $20.

**** you. No animal is inferior (except for mosquitoes and gnats) to another, including humans.

You've got 24 hours to find a cure for cancer. Good luck.

I like to think they'll find the cure anyway. If they do they might also be able to piece back together and do a Frankenstein

Seriously? Frankenstein was the doctor not the monster. The monster didn't have a name

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Angelice_fml 0

*she OP's neighbor is a woman.

bizarre_ftw 21

Yeah, op wishes that too, if 'he' was your neighbor op would still have a cat

The_Troller 14

11- of all the mistakes he made that you could've corrected...

Ever123 0

Fleas don't cause cancer stupid

koolkat27 13

128- come back when you figure out the meaning of sarcasm.

7- Not sure if sarcastic, or just really stupid.

Wats wif all da hating?! Just a ****** joke, get the **** over it and enjoy life!

Tell her human bites cause cancer. Then bite her.

bizarre_ftw 21

Bite her anyway, don't bother with a warning

footcheezeez 16

She'll probaly steal someones kid, chop them up, and put the child in a freezer. People like that should be disposed of. They are dangerous, so why take a risk?

Angelice_fml 0

Does she have any pets? Most crazy people have TONS of them. Revenge time. :D

Taking any animals from her would be doing them a favor.

Why would she steal the cat if she thinks flea bites cause cancer?

MrSaxMan 0
Waggleton 0

Your pic made my day/night :) aimed at 73 /

na415 0

Why is everyone here this rude?

FYLDeep 25
bizarre_ftw 21

Welcome to the age of technology, animosity, and constant, bizarre ranting. Oh, and angst fueled social networking

Welcome to my humble abode there is cat I mean Turkey sausage on the table and juice in the fridge! Make yourself at home. •~•

This is almost as good for trolls as 4chan. Minus the **** o.O

they have no back bone in real life to be an ass.