Kids, Painful and Gun control: 1, 2, 3… FIRE!

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 983

You deserved it 15 247

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Same thing different taste

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 105

You deserved it 7 123

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 4 379

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 18:39 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 783

You deserved it 73 550

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 238

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 791

You deserved it 25 000

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 180

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 9 123

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 181

You deserved it 5 286

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 3 555

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:07

blue balls!

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:19

Should've torn off your boxers and charged at them.

Comments

big_boi_rollin 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:21

Thats when you say " im not afraid...to take a stand...every body...comr take my hand"

lokrar789 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:38

It could have been worse. U could have had a massive boner durin it all and got a shot strait to the dipsy stick

ceddyz17 10

Thursday 11 August 2011 14:44

protect the mc nuggets

Black_Letter 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:46

So...Why did you walk outside with only your boxers on? YDI.

calvin10 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:24

wear some damn pants will ya??

Tylerdre 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:26

What is he pedobear?!

GirlEatsBoy26 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:31

If I walked out in just my underwear, all of my elderly neighbors would start praying to the Lord for my mercy!

beetboxboy 9

Friday 12 August 2011 6:19

What would your teenage neighbors do?

thatgirl345 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 16:58

..........ouch.

Zhu8 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:34

Disarm them and neath them with the canisters, unless you're out of shape.

cybermolly10 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:43

At least they didn't ruin your outfit.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, like most weekends, I got swindled into being the designated driver for our group. Too bad this weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 210

You deserved it 1 462

Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 107

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 3 705

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 3 930

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 461

You deserved it 4 157

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 772

You deserved it 16 464