Username
United States
1, 2, 3… FIRE!
Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
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ruined_suit
United States
Defense!
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
walllflower
Saint Catharines, Canada
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Anonymous
Get off my lawn!
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Anonymous
Noblesville, United States
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
nl4
Tel Aviv, Israel
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Z
Australia
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Josh
United States
Risky
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
awesomekidsmum
Canada
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
BOHICA123
Brighton, United States
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
clumsylobster
Perth, Australia
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Top comments
unfortunate_13 5
blue balls!
SirBedevere 0
Should've torn off your boxers and charged at them.
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Comments (123)
SorrowFull 8
I see the morality squad to beautify the world strikes again. Wearing only underwear in public is a no-go.
doubleodoggy 0
Why were you in boxers?
Demon_Squirril 9
lol One reason I'm glad I live out in the middle of nowhere. I can fearlessly go get the mail in my boxers.
SixSixSix_fml 2
why would you answer the door with only your boxers on ._. sorta creepy...
mathewduncan91 3
Your comment : Today, I got arrested. My mother was distraught, but when I asked my dad why he didn't seem dissapointed, he said, "Well I didn't set the bar very high for you, son. You're right where I thought you would be." FML
russianraccoon 0
So...did you wave back? Did they shoot you? So many questions unanswered!!! Xp
dguyuwishuwer 5
Thanks to '1,000 Ways to Die', I now know that you could have called the police on them and gotten the arrested. Apparently, "shooting people with a paintball gun is just as illegal as shooting them with a real gun". If you have ever gone paint-balling, you know that they could easily knock you unconscious or blind you. Not a funny matter.
odod777 28
At least you weren't naked. Are your nuts ok now?
Tytonic 16
Call the police on those little *****.
paintball_guy 10
hope you're alright! kids with paintball paintball guns who are irresponsible do not realize that they can do some serious damage like shooting your eye blinding you for life.