Kids, Painful and Gun control: 1, 2, 3… FIRE!

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 983

You deserved it 15 247

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Same thing different taste

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 105

You deserved it 7 123

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 4 379

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 18:39 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 783

You deserved it 73 550

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 238

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 791

You deserved it 25 000

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 180

By awesomekidsmum - 18/09/2011 01:20 - Canada

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 9 123

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 181

You deserved it 5 286

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 3 555

unfortunate_13 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:07

blue balls!

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:19

Should've torn off your boxers and charged at them.

Comments

GingerDTF 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 21:16

You probably creep the kids out everyday in your boxers..They took Revenge

stupdude3 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 21:28

People go outside in their boxers all the time. If I wanna take the trash out or something, I'M not gunna waist my time putting on clothes.

physicist48 0

Friday 12 August 2011 0:15

Put clothing on.

AubreasLuv 1

Friday 12 August 2011 0:59

maybe they just got scared at the sight in front of them

josuei4 0

Friday 12 August 2011 1:24

Guess they have a target now

9987coldplayfan 1

Friday 12 August 2011 2:36

Lesson of this FML: Never go outside with only boxers on, especially when there is kids with paintball guns.

hyden121 2

Friday 12 August 2011 3:22

You deserved it. Cover up next time.

sandybaybe 3

Friday 12 August 2011 3:26

Haha!! I can picture it.. Sorry, im sure it hurt but it's just too funny!

AgentSmith79 9

Friday 12 August 2011 4:38

I would have used a real gun if I saw you step outside in just your boxers.

27alli 0

Friday 12 August 2011 4:46

At least you didnt get paint on your clothes

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 203

You deserved it 3 628

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 19 038

The Top

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 564

You deserved it 7 190

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 2 395

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 29 800

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 547

You deserved it 3 386

Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 265

You deserved it 1 916

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 3 574