Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé told a priest on the bus to fuck off, because he was annoying her with all his God talk. She didn’t know the priest had been our family's priest for the past 40 years, the guy we were supposed to talk to about our wedding next year. Guess that’s not happening now. FML
Today, my fiancé accidentally ran over the priest who is supposed to be marrying us in 3 days. Now, not only do we need a new priest, we need a new church to get married in, with only 3 days to find them. FML
Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML
Today, my ass of a husband to be stood me up at the altar. He embarrassed me in front of everyone. It was humiliating. All because apparently he’s now not OK with the mistake I made. Yes, I slept with your father, but don’t say you forgive me then leave me crying in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé if we could get legally married at the courthouse before we had the big wedding ceremony, just to quell my irrational fear of being left at the altar. He agreed, then didn’t show up at the courthouse. Nightmare realized. FML
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
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Top comments
Razath 17
A bible thumper, eh? Did he turn the other cheek when you slapped him? I bet he didn't. Hopefully your fiancé don't have the same twisted opinions as his childhood friend. Sometimes you can know a person for a good while, but still not know their true self, so I hope that's all it is between those two. You might want to make sure though. Just in case.
RichardPencil 32
You need to hire one who says he needs to obey you. Pay extra to get him to say that it's God's will.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
You need to hire one who says he needs to obey you. Pay extra to get him to say that it's God's will.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Hopefully your husband has also learned his place, and that it is anywhere that doesn't put him in contact with that idiotic priest.
Razath 17
A bible thumper, eh? Did he turn the other cheek when you slapped him? I bet he didn't. Hopefully your fiancé don't have the same twisted opinions as his childhood friend. Sometimes you can know a person for a good while, but still not know their true self, so I hope that's all it is between those two. You might want to make sure though. Just in case.
Rake 18
Also priests should know their place...
ODBeefalo 10
the problem here is he did. A "Good" priest is one who practices what he preaches... We could debate the "what they preach" side forever but as a non-believer I would say 90% makes no sense and the rest is basic human decency with fantastical stories to sell the point...
Hangryko 32
I fear this was no accident. Your fiancé knew exactly what that priest would say. If that happened to me, there would be no wedding. Leave him.
Justkidding100 41
exactly this
Charlie Given 28
Run, Run far away lol, that's a major red flag for ya.
Iamthebanzai22 21
I like you already.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Maybe the delay is a sign that you need to rethink this wedding. Why would he insist on this particular priest marrying you? And the priest is from his childhood? That seems kind of suspicious...