Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cars and Farts: Lingering

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 567

You deserved it 5 466

Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Cars Farts

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 482

You deserved it 2 942

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 3 785

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 374

You deserved it 4 044

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 892

You deserved it 8 334

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 913

You deserved it 6 859

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 3 627

By Alec - 10/12/2012 07:01 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 778

You deserved it 1 915

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 705

You deserved it 718

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 574

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 855

You deserved it 356

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

Comments

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

starlalove 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:59

Speaking from experience? :D

someotherbitch 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:18

wow that was hot....... lol

XmikethekillerX 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:22

he got this from a video ive seen the same exact situation on a vid on youtube what a fake

Imawhalerider 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 10:20

actually i thought of this by myself. but thanks for trying to steal my thunder.

knittybynature 0

Monday 13 July 2009 21:43

Looks like you plagiarized from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-xBgbfj7dI

nuclear 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 5:10

I'm pretty sure they mean the FML not your idea. But they're replying to you so their comment can be on the top of the page and seen by everyone..

Meizlizard 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 10:35

No, see what you need to do is grab the purse and get out on the driver's side to hand it to her all chivalrous, hopefully also dispersing the gas.

Genevieve_s 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:08

Ewwwww lol

americayay 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 3:37

agreed. i'm SO sick of bathroom humor fmls. who cares?

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:30

smell sticks to clothing. especially if it was a wet one.

chux4w 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 12:34

Maybe, but getting out fast enough and taking some time to walk around the car to her may be enough to air it out. Maybe. Better than Dutch ovening her in the car anyway.

SiCMgt4SlipKnoT 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:14

YDI for going on a date with a prostitute. I hope you have fun with the STI's you caught.

_Noon_ 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:17

Prostitute? Did I miss something?

Mnemic 5

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:28

Nah, SiCMgt4SlipKnoT is just an attention *****. :-P

iKaite 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:43

Rofl, dude your a funny ******.

Vilen1025 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:17

This has got to be one of the weirdest FMLs I've read.

UrFlyyness 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:20

#3. HAHAHAHA honestly tho, if u jus roll down ur window and hand it her, she wont catch a whiff. LOL! But if she does and is like "wats that smell"...then FYL.

karmaSUCKS321453 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:48

I like how you act like he typed up the fml in his car and hasn't done anything yet...

Darth_Taco 14

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:27

Ouch! I know your pain. I'm severely lactose intolerant. I've been lactose intolerant for 3 years yet for some reason I keep forgetting or underestimating it! Anyway, I do tend to have those kind of...moments a lot. Hopefully she understood. You were in the privacy of your own car at the time and thought it would be safe to let it rip. If not, you can get better.