Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Cars and Farts: Lingering

Lingering

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 577

You deserved it 5 476

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Same thing different taste

By shwasted - 22/02/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 557

You deserved it 3 797

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 2 947

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 303

Date night

By avaiia - 09/08/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 1 607

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 598

By Skankeriffic - 19/02/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 225

You deserved it 30 723

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 877

You deserved it 362

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 1 120

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 861

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 771

You deserved it 3 630

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

Comments

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:07

just drive away, and later be like oh did you tap my window?

starlalove 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:59

Speaking from experience? :D

someotherbitch 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:18

wow that was hot....... lol

XmikethekillerX 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:22

he got this from a video ive seen the same exact situation on a vid on youtube what a fake

Imawhalerider 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 10:20

actually i thought of this by myself. but thanks for trying to steal my thunder.

knittybynature 0

Monday 13 July 2009 21:43

Looks like you plagiarized from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-xBgbfj7dI

nuclear 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 5:10

I'm pretty sure they mean the FML not your idea. But they're replying to you so their comment can be on the top of the page and seen by everyone..

Meizlizard 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 10:35

No, see what you need to do is grab the purse and get out on the driver's side to hand it to her all chivalrous, hopefully also dispersing the gas.

Genevieve_s 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:08

Ewwwww lol

americayay 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 3:37

agreed. i'm SO sick of bathroom humor fmls. who cares?

chux4w 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:13

That's your chance to grab the purse, get out of the car and bring it to her yourself. It'll make you look very gentlemanly.

Imawhalerider 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:30

smell sticks to clothing. especially if it was a wet one.

chux4w 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 12:34

Maybe, but getting out fast enough and taking some time to walk around the car to her may be enough to air it out. Maybe. Better than Dutch ovening her in the car anyway.

SiCMgt4SlipKnoT 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:14

YDI for going on a date with a prostitute. I hope you have fun with the STI's you caught.

_Noon_ 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:17

Prostitute? Did I miss something?

Mnemic 5

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:28

Nah, SiCMgt4SlipKnoT is just an attention *****. :-P

iKaite 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:43

Rofl, dude your a funny ******.

Vilen1025 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:17

This has got to be one of the weirdest FMLs I've read.

UrFlyyness 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:20

#3. HAHAHAHA honestly tho, if u jus roll down ur window and hand it her, she wont catch a whiff. LOL! But if she does and is like "wats that smell"...then FYL.

karmaSUCKS321453 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:48

I like how you act like he typed up the fml in his car and hasn't done anything yet...

Darth_Taco 14

Saturday 11 July 2009 12:27

Ouch! I know your pain. I'm severely lactose intolerant. I've been lactose intolerant for 3 years yet for some reason I keep forgetting or underestimating it! Anyway, I do tend to have those kind of...moments a lot. Hopefully she understood. You were in the privacy of your own car at the time and thought it would be safe to let it rip. If not, you can get better.