Love

Horndog

By Kimberly - 05/09/2022 23:00

Today, my now-ex bf actually gave me the, “If we don’t have trust, we don’t have anything” speech when I caught him commenting “Soooooooo sexy! I’d hit that 24/7/365” on a girl’s photo on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 259

Not so subtle hint

By DumpedLikeADUmp - 05/09/2022 20:30

Today, I come home from work to my bedroom to find all my husband’s stuff gone. There was a note in the dresser, with his wedding band, that read, “I hope you can take a hint. Sorry.” Not only was I dumped, and I can’t locate him anywhere, but I now have to cover his part of the mortgage which I can’t afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 228

Juicer

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 18:00

Today, while I was gambling at a casino, my daughter call me. Then added her mother. And then added her dance teacher, my side piece. The call got so loud the Pit Boss had to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 3 034

Now you tell me!

By IdPreferNotThanks - 05/09/2022 15:30

Today, my fiancée told me I'm not her type, and that my touch is repulsive. We've been living together for over a year, and have been together for over four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 180

Premature

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 19:00 - United States - Paris

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 163

Red flag

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 22:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after we went to my family reunion. I heard him complaining that I didn't have any "slutty cousins" he could cheat on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 208

Better off

By Elliz - 04/09/2022 02:00

Today, I was stalking my ex-husband’s Facebook. He looks so happy with his new, supermodel-perfect girlfriend who he left me for. She’s everything I’m not. I kinda regret giving birth to two kids and my body changing forever. He’d still be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 640

Overly attached girlfriend flashback

By girlonthe19thfloor - 03/09/2022 23:30

Today, my boyfriend got hired as a customer service agent at an airline. I'm full of anxiety ever since, because he has a cheating past. I then find out he has to fly out to Texas for two weeks training, and to top it off its all girls in his team. I don't want him to wanna go join them for city exploring, or food and drinks. He’s mad at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 224

Romance is definitely dead

By bri_sci94 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Madison

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 813

Not a good start

By Anonymous - 03/09/2022 04:00

Today, I accepted that I've fallen in love with someone completely amazing… but they live over 3000 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 202

Just dependa things

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, and since we moved on base, my neighbor’s wife has tried to have an affair with me. I got tired of it and told him. He blew smoke. I found out she’s in a cheating wife’s club, who all defend each other. She proclaimed to all our neighbors that I’m a predator and I'd attacked her. They believe her instead of my wife, who saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 125

Fragile

By HashiManGo - 02/09/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "she used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 1 999

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 462

Three's a crowd

By Kimberlie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 4 974

Memory hole

By George - 02/09/2022 00:00

Today, me and the missus went for a boozy meal in our local pub. We stumbled home, and full of lager-fuelled love and courage, I asked her, "We getting married then or what?" She replied, "We're already married, you daft cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 1 307

Embarrassing little secret

By FML - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend forced me to climb out through his window, because he was too embarrassed at the thought of his roommate finding out I'd spent the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 5 683

Guilt by association

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, my partner is pissed off at me because someone sent me a meme she disapproves of. As if I have any control over what people send to me… FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 152

Fight!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 255

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 04:00

Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 108

McLovin

By Anonymous - 30/08/2022 22:00

Today, I was buying a specific expensive wine for my wife’s birthday, but the guy suspected I was buying it for some underage girl loitering outside, and threatened to call police. He’s a specialist wine merchant and the only guy I can buy that wine from in 100 miles. Her birthday is in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 139

Florida man

By Divorced - 30/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with another woman in our couch. When I gave him the mother of all verbal lashings, he asked me, “Oh, you didn’t get my text?” The fucker actually announced he wanted a divorce over text message. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 206

Strange behavior

By Soconfused - 30/08/2022 14:00

Today, I once again confronted my boyfriend about tagging the girl he told me not to worry about in boyfriend/girlfriend memes on Facebook instead of me. He told me I was overreacting and, “it’s just social media!” He told me he’ll dump me if I bring it up again. We’ve been together for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 453

Low blow

By Marleck - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said, "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 362

You deserved it 4 847

Failed the vibe check

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the guy I met off of Bumble, and have been seeing for the past few weeks, went to jail in 2020 for kidnapping a girl he met off Tinder. I would've be on a date with him right now had I not decided to Google him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 189

She said yes!

By it's shitty, yeah, stfu - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Trollhättan

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 039

You deserved it 2 750

You're never alone on FML

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 12:00

Today, and every day, is a reminder of things I can't have. Simple things, like a partner who understands me or a best friend. Not the best friend title that we give away, but a real best friend. The person that you can rely on emotionally. I see abusers have whole families, but I can't get people to stay in my life. I feel alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 229

Dear John

By Pauljohnson - 29/08/2022 02:00

Today, my wife packed the kids up and left for Idaho. I found a letter saying that she misses her paranoid schizo dad and brother, and that she misses me when I'm at work, but can't stand me when I'm home. She is now 1700 miles away, and I'm here alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 147

Please stop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 5 079

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 16:00

Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 1 236

What do you take me for?

By emopancake - 28/08/2022 14:00

Today, I came out to my mormon mother as a pan enby, and told her I wanted to change my name. She asked how I came to this conclusion, so I told her how I’ve been secretly doing research on the topic. She says she supports me, but claims I broke her trust by lying for so long to avoid possible homophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 556

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came into town for the weekend. A proof of vaccination card to enter non-essential businesses also started. My dear boyfriend refuses to sign up for the card. Guess our nights out will be grocery shopping and him waiting outside while I shop anywhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 384

Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 240

You deserved it 43 804

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 4 635

Today, while feeling really ill, I pumped myself full of caffeine so that I'd be ready to run an online gaming session. I managed to maintain until I realized one of the players hadn't responded for two hours. She went AFK without telling anyone, holding up progress, for the 4th time. I don't know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 417

Today, I was sitting down to do my homework when I severely sprained my ankle. I live on the third floor and can’t walk far without severe pain, and I'm broke, so a compression bandage is out of the question. I can’t wait until the first of the month when I get paid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 152

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 384

You deserved it 6 557