worst birthday ever · 20 August 2022, 16:00

You don't like the thumpa-thumpa music??

Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068 You deserved it 153

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birthday girl · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Toledo, United States

Taking the piss

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 381 You deserved it 4 274

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Anonymous · 10 August 2022, 04:00

It's how dey make dah mahnee

Today, working in PR, I've been unable to attend 2 out of 3 of my booked tours. That "non-refundable, zero excuses" policy with the billion dollar online activities provider has me out $400. So, instead of enjoying what should be a beautiful PR birthday trip, I'm online now scheduling returns of clothes and jewelry to cover the losses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 514

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12345678910 · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Buffalo, United States

Lame!

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 623 You deserved it 4 447

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Suspicious minds

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I thought it was going to be an intervention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 137 You deserved it 45 394

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Anonymous · 21 July 2022, 18:00

Take your pencil and shove it

Today, I realised I will never be as important to my mom as her career. I asked if we could spend the day together on my birthday and she offered to “pencil me in” on one of her slower days in September. My birthday is in August, but apparently that’s inconvenient for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 19 July 2022, 04:00

The hangover, part 46

Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360 You deserved it 1 019

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gaah! · 9 July 2022, 00:00

Unhappy birthday

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795 You deserved it 154

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Almost40 · 26 June 2022, 16:00

Help, I need somebody!

Today, it's my birthday, and like every other Sunday, my wife's been called into work, and I'm left with our three toddlers and yesterday's mess to clean up. It's raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816 You deserved it 269

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Birthdaypoop · 20 June 2022, 12:00

No gifts for you

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 917 You deserved it 1 264

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I give up · 3 June 2022, 02:00 ·Kimberley, South Africa

It's my special day

Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249 You deserved it 284

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ProduceGood · 2 June 2022, 00:01 ·Ottawa, Canada

Ungrateful bunch

Today, I realized why my stomach is upset: in a house with my two adult parents and one 17 year-old sister, we have somehow gone an entire week without fresh vegetables or fruit. I didn't notice because I was trying to figure out how to handle them forgetting my 30th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546 You deserved it 904

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Anonymous · 1 June 2022, 04:00 ·United States

Quite rightly so

Today, I was told my eldest grandson doesn't want me at his birthday party, nor does he want my gift. It would seem he and his younger brother still haven't forgiven me for my prank on Easter, when I tricked them into thinking I was taking them to the 'Big Neighborhood Egg Hunt', when really we were going to church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 3 964

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suckishbf · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Gift ideas

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 476 You deserved it 6 887

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Anonymous · 23 May 2022, 02:00 ·North Miami Beach, United States

You forgetting something?

Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 21 May 2022, 02:00

Having fun?

Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125 You deserved it 152

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sadstorylifee · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Not So Sweet Sixteen

Today, I had to admit to my parents that the reason I don't want a sixteenth birthday party isn't because I'm being spoiled and I expected my parents to take me on a lavish vacation, but because I don't have any friends to invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 966 You deserved it 4 829

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Anonymous · 7 May 2022, 16:00

Lonely birthday

Today, it’s my birthday. It’s 2:30 pm, and my parents are still sleeping while I watch television with my dog. I’ll probably also have dinner with my dog. Happy Birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 3 May 2022, 02:00

Grumpy git

Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 25 April 2022, 10:00 ·Brookline, United States

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893 You deserved it 183

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Pinsky · 24 April 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Besties

Today, my wife told me she is no longer sexually attracted to me. She also can’t understand why I still don’t want to go on her 35th birthday trip to London. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247 You deserved it 217

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Smelly · 5 April 2022, 16:00

Get the message

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876 You deserved it 459

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Anonymous · 24 March 2022, 14:00 ·Germany

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 182

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Anonymous · 18 March 2022, 14:00

Thoughtful

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend bought me a sword from a TV show called Game of Thrones. He seemed disappointed at my reaction, since he spent so much money on the limited edition version. I've never watched the show, and I also have never had any interest in swords, so I don't know what he was thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276 You deserved it 150

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Emm · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Not the expected outcome

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised, I punched my mom in the face when she screamed, "SURPRISE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 136 You deserved it 21 021

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Becky · 11 March 2022, 10:00

Suspicious minds

Today, I was rushed to hospital with two ribs sticking out of my chest, with blood everywhere, but did I get sympathy from my sister? No, I got accused of being hit by a forklift on purpose to ruin her birthday party, then she tried to rip my bandages off to "prove I was faking the whole thing" and split my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 11 March 2022, 00:01

Keep it to yourself

Today, my family is still telling me to "get over" the death of my great aunt. The great aunt who always gave the most wonderful birthday gifts, and was overall one of the most pleasant people I've ever met, and I'm NOT allowed to be sad that she's gone. Did I mention she died on my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418 You deserved it 140

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Anonymous · 9 March 2022, 10:00 ·Fredensborg, Denmark

Danger zone

Today, my mother bitched me out for not coming to my sister's birthday tomorrow. She's 25 and lives at home, and she, my mother, and father all have Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243 You deserved it 117

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story of my life · 7 March 2022, 02:00

Partyblocked

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506 You deserved it 111

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blank sheep at work · 1 March 2022, 18:00 ·Richland, United States

Pulled a sneaky on you

Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991 You deserved it 101

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