All the FMLs

Are you sure?

By yourekillingme - 19/02/2016 04:12 - United States - Mission

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 131

You deserved it 1 499

By cameron0779 - 19/02/2016 03:56 - United States

Today, I was helping my grandmother move a TV into her room upstairs. While carrying the TV, I slipped on a stair, fell over and broke the banister. I broke my leg and smashed the TV as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 940

You deserved it 1 897

cameron0779 tells us more.

cameron0779 18

Friday 19 February 2016 19:28

Hey everyone, OP here. Thanks for all the support, doc says I'll be able to walk again in a few weeks. I was wearing socks, and my grandma's house has wooden stairs. My grandmother and I are very close, and she completely understood; she wasn't upset. And now, as for the TV. I'd say it WAS about 40 inches and rather new, so it wasn't too heavy. But I'll by buying another one. I'll also be fixing the banister. It was just a fluke accident, no hard feelings. And yes, my grandmother cared about my leg. Bye guys!

By pimplesapparently - 18/02/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 206

You deserved it 2 795

By StudentAbroad - 18/02/2016 13:27 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 021

You deserved it 2 741

Complexion

By balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 828

You deserved it 2 330

By jesuscrip - 18/02/2016 06:08 - United States - Orrville

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 769

You deserved it 1 463

By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 575

You deserved it 1 416

By ragnarok1540 - 18/02/2016 04:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 590

You deserved it 1 333

ragnarok1540 tells us more.

ragnarok1540 39

Thursday 18 February 2016 14:11

Fortunately since we are pathologists, we don't really have any direct patient contact. However we do have many surgeons coming down to the surgical pathology lab, not to mention the poor laboratory technologists who have to work around this guy ...

Group discussion

By ThatSped - 18/02/2016 03:22 - Canada - Moncton

Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 969

You deserved it 4 932

By That_Teenager_ - 18/02/2016 02:01 - United States - Hampshire

Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 146

You deserved it 2 440

That_Teenager_ tells us more.

That_Teenager_ 13

Thursday 18 February 2016 22:48

Hey guys!! Op here! I honestly didn't expect this to get accepted. Anyway, I wanna say thanks to all the people making jokes, I found them hilarious. To the people wondering, yes I'm female. Also, the bus was PACKED, or else I definitely would've moved. Trust me, I glared at him as much as I could and I actually told him to stop multiple times. I even threatened him with calling the police, but he wouldn't stop. But you know, I got to my stop and had a wonderful day in the city even after that experience. Nothing else happened, and I'm back home safe and sound. Sorry for the long explanation!

Awwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 00:53 - United States - Taunton

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 016

You deserved it 2 382

Slackers

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 111

You deserved it 1 522

By boredtothemax - 17/02/2016 19:17 - United States - Hammond

Today, I gave a talk in my management class about creating effective presentations and holding people's attention. Go figure, pretty much nobody paid any attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 193

You deserved it 3 351

Source?

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 13:16 - Canada - Brossard

Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 581

You deserved it 1 799

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 12:32 - Netherlands

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 411

You deserved it 1 909

By UnluckyReporter - 17/02/2016 06:35 - United States - Lexington

Today, I lost control of my car on a patch of ice and slid off the road, messing up my car. I was working on a news story about bad road conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 268

You deserved it 2 945

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 886

You deserved it 1 443

By remembertoday - 17/02/2016 03:12 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I braved a snowstorm to go into work. An hour later, my boss texted me that they were closing. I was stuck on the road, unable to go home for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 557

You deserved it 1 718

remembertoday tells us more.

remembertoday 5

Thursday 18 February 2016 3:59

My boss didn't really have any control over it. When the CEO got in to work and saw how bad it was he decided to close for the first time in the 8 years I have worked there. The city didn't even issue a travel advisory for another 30 minutes after our office was closed.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 02:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 854

You deserved it 1 475