Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was selling personalised stockings at work. When handing a customer's order over to her, which had no name on, I joked, "Oooh this is a bit mysterious". She replied, "Actually, it's in memory of the baby I miscarried earlier this year." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 9:06am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Work

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

by level6 / 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

by Dude / 10/23/2010 at 11:13am / Singapore / Work

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

by qhu / 10/22/2010 at 10:15pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

by soapypete / 10/22/2010 at 9:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 6:57am / Singapore / Work

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year old guy. My boss is a 50 year old woman. I desperately need this job. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

by Username / 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm / Work

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

by rewarded / 10/20/2010 at 10:33am / India (Delhi) / Work

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

by anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 2:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work