Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

by Peppermint / 03/17/2011 at 6:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

by mommyfairy / 03/12/2011 at 3:34am / United States / Work

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

by scaredofbozo / 03/11/2011 at 11:05am / Work

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

by Cashier / 03/09/2011 at 12:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

by Dx / 03/06/2011 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

by deliveryboy / 03/05/2011 at 10:46am / China (Shanghai) / Work

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

by sharni88 / 03/04/2011 at 2:13am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

by st00pid / 03/04/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

by hardlyworking / 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

by Pickle / 03/03/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Illinois) / Work