Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for having Facebook open at work. That's fine, I closed it and continued on with my work. In a meeting later on I could see the reflection of my boss's laptop screen in a mirror behind her desk. For two hours, I watched her scroll through her Facebook feed. FML
Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
Today, I was working from home. I felt very sleepy, so I set my online status “Active” and went back to bed. I woke up to 3 missed calls from my boss and an email from him, containing a webcam screenshot of me asleep in bed. I totally forgot he has remote access to my computer. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML
Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss's office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
One of the first things an employer of an office environment will tell you is "Stay off of Facebook!" Sorry, OP.. But YDI. You knew it was a rule and you broke it.
nephilim241 19
Managing.. Like a boss
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Comments (248)
daydreamer244 13
For your Next job close your facebook when you leave to go to the bathroom maybe that would help :)
TheMaster15 10
Or MAYBE he can wait to get home to go on facebook?
aceman1992 9
Like a boss!
dirtroadboy 7
Explain that one to the unemployment office...
alycion 39
I always locked my computer if I was getting up. Not a bad habit to get into.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
It was a work/company computer, the boss probably has the password or a master password to unlock it, so that doesn't help anyone. Just don't go on Facebook, it's really not that hard of a thing to accomplish.
kjcookie10 9
If you're going to do that at least be sneaky about it... Geez.
Jakesterk96 8
Your boss actually took the chance when you went to the restroom to see if you were doing your job. So you probably did have it minimized.
RadikulRam 16
Or you can access FB through your phone, just saying, my phone doesn't event have a colour screen.
SeaMen 3
82 and 123 I highly doubt the boss was going on his computer to see...Op prob left FB open on the screen and the boss saw it...or some companies have the admin account see every screen in the office to overwatch
freakinglaugher 10
Rule of thumb, never surf the internetz at work. Unless, of course, you're on FML. **Fml dev pats head**
tjv3 10
YDI it is probably against the acceptable use policy.
desireev 18
One of the first things an employer of an office environment will tell you is "Stay off of Facebook!" Sorry, OP.. But YDI. You knew it was a rule and you broke it.
Pentium_4 27
yeah, and you have to be careful what you talk about even on your own time cause they'll look at that too!
monkeysuncle213 6
But it would make their world stop to not be able to update exactly what they're doing every minute!! Who knows maybe the earth would stop turning!!
Pentium_4 27
you have a valid point *updates status to "Posting on FML!!!one!!one" *
AmbrosiaWriter 17
"At work." "Still at work." "Going poop at work." "Boss has no idea I'm spending my time on face book AT WORK! HA!" "Getting paid to play Farmville." "Still at work." "Leaving work! YEAH!"
Isoldael 27
Actually, at my job interview, they told me they "didn't expect me to work 8 hours straight every day" and it was fine if I wanted to go for a walk outside or surf the web. But I guess you're right, probably an exception.
desireev 18
125- You got lucky! An exception, indeed! Most workplaces will not even allow a cellphone to be used, let alone getting on Facebook..
docscientist 10
Because most places aren't attached to reality. They don't realize that most work in a day doesn't take 8 straight hours. There's always downtime.
downtime 13
Indeed there is 164...
thelegitlady 0
It must have been one damn important status he had to update... "Ha! My boss is an idiot! I get to be paid to be on Facebook all day! Farmville ftw! lolz ;D" Yeah, just no OP. YDI.
bamagrl410 31
So OP is on Facebook while plenty of other unemployed people would love to actually do work. YDI. Even if there is down time at your job, do something constructive. Read a news article, read a book, SOMETHING.
desireev 18
218- You sound like me! I always say, "Do something constructive!!"
docscientist 10
What, rearrange your desktop? Many jobs have no worthwhile outlets during downtime. I usually read, listen to music, etc. during downtime in lab. Sometimes I double check inventory, or make sure everything is working properly, but doing job related things or expecting them to be worked on 100% of the time at a job that expects you to be there for a specific amount of time, is rather silly.
desireev 18
Well it's what you're getting paid for.. Not everyone can have a job like that. You get paid for working.. Not for using your 'down-time' in the way you prefer..
69bannanataco 0
was he kidding?!?? haha
Ergayles 9
Doubt it.
brianjman14 23
Obviously not, if it's an FML.
Furrywhiplash 14
19- Are you saying everything on FML is completely 100% true? It could have been a joke but the person just wanted to write something on FML. Although in this case the name is "needanewjob," so I think this one might actually be true.
anjtrg_1112 23
If he was, it's not a very funny joke.
abbybailey204 19
Yes he was kidding (Sarcastic voice/rolling eyes)
csmith10100 4
no he wasn't kidding just look at the name "NeedsanewJob" that should clear it right up for u
genesisCCORE 3
Next time, dnt use your facebook.
icychill10_fml 6
ha! next time! if Hw can a job like all the others waiting.
CheckMyProfile 17
@55-What was that! :/
FiestaInMyPants 8
I just imagined this thread was irl. 4 and 38 were having a conversation and then 55 interjected with that, and there was an awkward silence while 55 stood there with a huge lopsided grin. ..It was funnier in my head.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Naw, if it was real life I'd imagine #55 being in a wheel chair, drooling all over himself; saying " do you lyke dis castle I maed?!?!*pulls out grotesque object from his shorts."
ShakeMeDown 12
Timmy Timmy Timmy timmy....
lolmonster34 0
Later on his facebook he sees: John Smith likes this
Wozuh 5
Keep your work and personal life completely separate. YDI
phantumgrey 6
To bad work want your personal life out of it but they have no problem making work take up personal life. Ie working weekends when that should never happen
AmbrosiaWriter 17
You get paid to work on the weekend, the company shouldn't pay you to play on Facebook.
angely_fml 4
Remember when your personal life payed the bills and got you that phone you always wanted? OH WAIT! That was work, forgot to say "Remember when work"
docscientist 10
80- too bad people don't appreciate the importance of life outside of work.
tjv3 10
But that's just it it's Life OUTSIDE of work
bennie2789 0
That's funny haha
nephilim241 19
Managing.. Like a boss
sadcutie345 8
Damn rite lol a damn good one at that
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
That 'like a boss' thing got so old so fast. Its just plain annoying now, especially If you have a twin bro who STILL constantly says it. >:(
nephilim241 19
Commenting.. Like a boss :3
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Swallow sadness... Like a boss!
canjeelo 0
So right
eshie11 0
funny ass way to get fired though haha
onorexveritas 24
dumbass
apache316 6
Micromanage...like a boss
swankmrpancake 8
Promote synergy.... Like a boss
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Hit on debra, like a boss.
Brett121 6
Shit on debra's desk..like a boss
skittihorse 8
Suck a dudes dick...