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The all-time greatest FMLs

Hyperfocused

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I set out to organize my media files over several old hard drives, but I got so engrossed in creating intricate folders and subfolders that I forgot what I was organizing in the first place. My computer is now a labyrinth of folders titled "Stuff," "Things," and "What is this even?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 559

Private talent show

By Juan - 23/04/2024 20:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, we live in a terraced house with very thin walls. For no reason, I sang "Una paloma blanca, I have a huge hairy cock" loudly in the bathroom. I walked down the garden path and encountered my neighbour, who laughed and sang "Una paloma blanca" whilst nodding knowingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 516

Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 275

Desperate housewife

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 003

How can I put this…

By Jiffy - 09/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I test-drove a customer’s car to investigate a strange noise. I heard the exact clunk she'd described. It was actually a wrench I’d left under the hood sliding around and hitting things. I had to return and sheepishly explain that the problem was entirely my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 361

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 699

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

By Freddie - 28/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 584

Explain yourself

By Poop Boy 416 - 06/11/2022 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I forgot to clean up poop before a home inspection, so the inspector questioned me on why I had dried shit sitting on a table, with flies all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 2 085

Merry ******* Christmass

By Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 480

Time to start a band

By Jonny - 24/11/2023 10:00

Today, I attempted a DIY haircut. In the process, I somehow managed to give myself a reverse mohawk. I now look like I'm auditioning for a punk rock band from the 80s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 576

The Boo Radleys?

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was running late and tried to sneak out of the house without waking anyone up. My phone alarm, which I forgot was set on max volume, blasted a loud “WAKE UP!” at 7 AM right as I opened the front door. Everyone in the house was wide awake instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 320

Self report

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 797

The real housewives of FML

By NotInMyClick - 02/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Glide

Today, a girl I despise from our group of best girlfriends, who just moved in with another, has showed her true colors. I smelled her bipolar disorder in our group interactions and took a step back, but was afraid to say something to the two other girls like, hey, she's unstable. Now she thinks she's in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 636

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 675

Isn't that, like, a crime?

By Dan - 22/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 931

Anti-stink measures

By Sardine man - 13/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a bunch of gift cards to Panera, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, and other nearby fast food places, as well as an "Easy Work Lunches" cookbook. When I reacted with shock, they said, "We're all so sick of you eating cans of sardines in the break room everyday. Please eat anything else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 772

ADHD brain

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 20:00

Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 371

Blood, water, all that stuff

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, despite the fact that he knows I need help, my recently turned 18 year-old son found an apartment and moved out, leaving me alone with my three toddlers. When I asked what I’m supposed to do for childcare, he just said, “Not my kids, not my problem. Ask their dads. Bye.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 2 906

Drunken truth

By Anonymous - 19/12/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 045

Coyness is nice, and coyness can stop you…

By Krissy - 01/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's party, only to realize I was in the wrong apartment, after getting the address confused. Instead of awkwardly leaving, I stayed for a bit and pretended I was someone’s cousin. I was oddly suspicious that no one noticed me mingling, but then it turned out to be a shady MLM recruitment party for a leggings company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 428

Help me out here

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I finally saw a physical therapist for frequent right hip pain that was interfering with my sleep schedule and causing that specific area of my leg to atrophy from not using it as much. After doing all of the stretches, the pain doesn't seem to have improved, despite him recognizing what the problem was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 64

Three piss suite

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 453

Women be shopping

By Krule - 04/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Redding

Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 538

Workplace hook ups are never a good idea

By Fernanda - 02/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I learned I have to kiss my career goodbye, all because I decided to give a colleague road head while he was driving to a company function. I was fired and arrested for indecent exposure. Now it’s all on my record and my Master’s in Early Childhood Education can basically be used for toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 654

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 09/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 517

Business time

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I've had a crush on this girl at my office for years. Our work sent us to a conference. We bonded there. That night, we were talking by the hotel pool and she leaned in and kissed me. Tongue and everything. The problem is, at 40, I still bite my nails when I'm nervous. Well, she choked on the finger nail in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 580

Art installation

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I discovered that if you cum down the sink every day for a year, it doesn't just wash away, it makes a gooey, half-cooked semen-baby that your dad has to pull out of the pipe when it gets clogged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 774

Lifestyle influencer

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 14:00

Today, after I inherited 300 grand last year and blew it all on drugs, I'm now kicking myself in the ass for not blowing it all on drugs AND hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 922

Self report

By Criminy - 04/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went on yet another date with this beautiful young lady from my job. I can’t help but feel bad because ever since my wife gave birth to our kid she’s been sluggish and puffy, and I’m not attracted to her anymore, but I don’t know how to leave her because my son would be without a father. I hate this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 610

Naughty boy

By Mark - 25/11/2025 12:00

Today, coming home with my water bottle and venti Starbucks in one hand, and my 4 month-old leashed puppy on my other hand, I entered my condo building as a little girl was holding the door open. As I said thank you, my dog lunged towards her, I pulled him back, and most of my Caramel Brûlée Latte went flying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 499

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The Top

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 049

You deserved it 6 034

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 873

You deserved it 2 091

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 667

You deserved it 2 557

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 591

You deserved it 13 630

Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 184

Today, after three weeks of calling the office and telling them how much she needed it, my mom's doctor finally agreed to give her an oxygen tank. She died last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 101