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The all-time greatest FMLs

Modern Love

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 14:01

Today, I found out that the guy who love-scammed me in 2019 has continued to scam other women, even though I caught him in his lies and presented all the evidence to him. This guy is on various dating apps and is seeking to make “arrangements” with young women, even though he has a wife and a newborn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 159

Jailbait

By Riotxxo - 18/01/2022 16:58

Today, after confessing to my 16 year-old sister that I was only into guys younger than me, she said that was OK because she was attracted to guys in their late 40's and that an age gap was not that much of a big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 357

Blast from the past

By how old am I? - 07/05/2022 06:00

Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 130

Virtue signalling

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 12:00

Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 169

Fragility

By TooAccepting - 06/01/2021 23:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I'm pansexual. I said attracts what me to him is his intelligence and personality, and would still love him whether or not he had a penis. Turns out a 100% straight cis man can prioritise his penis over his intelligence and personality, because he's really offended now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 1 482

Health risk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 08:00 - Belgium

Today, the sciatic nerve in my left leg started twinging at random moments, leaving that leg painful and useless for a few seconds each time. Yesterday, I twisted my right knee and ankle falling over at work. Standing up is terrifying and I don't know which leg to limp on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 103

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 99

Hypochondriac

By Damn it, Charles - 09/12/2022 21:00

Today, I took my friend to the emergency room because he was having heart problems. The doctors recognized him, and one of them had something to say: "Charles, can you not wait until you're practically dying to seek medical treatment?" This is gonna be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 108

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 152

Help!

By Krissy - 01/04/2021 19:59

Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 67

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 307

Leave me out of it

By Marissa Di Stefano - 05/01/2021 17:01

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 214

No thanks

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 14:01

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 188

The gall of it all

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 00:00

Today, and every other day for the past week and a half, I have added a new step to my nightly routine: violently throwing up, just before bed. Fuck you, gallbladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 123

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 06:01

Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 395

Get on with it

By HURRY IT UP - 05/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was in line at Chipotle behind the guy ordering for his entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 105

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 20:01 - United States - Williamsport

Today, I emptied the morning coffee grounds from the coffee maker so I could set it up for tomorrow morning. When I threw out the filter, something in the grounds caught my eye. It was a dead spider. It had brewed with my coffee that morning. I also happen to be severely arachnophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 174

IRS FML

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 20:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 269

FML's OnlyFans

By Anonymous - 06/09/2020 08:01 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today, I signed up for my ex’s OnlyFans. She never sent me nudes when we were dating, now she’s selling them to everyone she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 1 641

CLAWS

By Attacksloth32 - 09/07/2021 01:59

Today, my cat was sleeping on me while I was laying in bed. I had to use the washroom, so I pushed him off. Except he used my testicles as a way to latch on to me, through my underwear. Let's just say, after having to change the sheets due to blood, I'm considering wearing a jockstrap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 242

That's sick

By Howww_06 - 04/09/2021 11:01 - Denmark

Today, my teacher said that since I was sick last week, I had to do all the work that the others had done, which I didn't know about because no one said anything about it. So now I've got to watch a total of 5 hours-worth of documentaries, and write analysis of them. Before tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 199

Young body, old soul

By lily - 12/04/2021 23:00

Today, I was diagnosed with gout. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 158

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 00:00

Today, I arranged a date with a girl online I really get along with, because frankly we both have a filthy sense of humour and love sexting. At the date, it turns out she’s deaf, which is not a problem, but she brought her sister as an interpreter. Without our usual conversation, it was just painfully awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 147

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 06:00

Today, my job announced we will be working mandatory 7 days a week for the next 6 weeks, maybe longer. There goes my summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 128

Meet the in-laws

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 19:59

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 418

Slippin' and a slidin'

By Imnotfromhere - 05/03/2022 04:00

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 145

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 200

Unionize now!

By BanaNacakE92 - 10/07/2023 22:00

Today, after taking a much-needed mental health week off from work, I discovered I wasn’t on the schedule this week. Turns out, I was fired. Apparently, my absence made things “inconvenient” for my department, since they had to do double work due to my “selfish” PTO usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 189

Survivalist

By John Johnson - 10/04/2022 02:00

Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 235

I wanna be oppressed so hard

By HatedAndFearedForExisting - 26/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, for the 50,000th time, I was told that something I said was offensive and triggering to my LGBTQ+-friendly Discord server mod, who frequently tells me that, as a "cis hetero Christian male", I don't know what I'm talking about. I was trying to be supportive of everyone, but I was wrong because *I* said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 386

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 310

You deserved it 3 738

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 9 481

Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 247

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 380

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 222

You deserved it 5 248

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 215

You deserved it 29 697