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Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 277

Social life

By Solitude - 26/05/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, after I spent years making fun of people who buy expensive coffee every morning instead of making it at home, and after I got a remote job and started living alone, I realized the barista at the café is currently the closest thing I have to a social life. Yesterday she remembered my order and I nearly felt emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 356

On a promise

By Brian - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 608

QUIET!

By Noisy - 03/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to quietly open a bag of chips during a movie. The bag made so much noise that people turned around to stare. When I finally got it open, I dropped the entire bag on the floor and chips scattered down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 515

What is wrong with you?

By emerald - 08/01/2026 09:00

Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 962

Stalking the past

By Cringe - 09/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was going down nostalgia road on Instagram at 2 a.m when I accidentally liked a photo on my ex’s account from seven years ago. I panicked, unliked it, locked my phone, and threw it across the bed like it was possessed. I still haven’t unclenched because I don't know if he'll see it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 414

Domesticated bliss

By Men make no sense - 08/03/2026 20:00

Today, as I watched my boyfriend bake cookies, I said he was "domesticated." He looked at me like I'd just pissed on his mother's grave and has been cold and distant all evening. What the fuck? It's a compliment, you dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 903

ADHD brain

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 20:00

Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 371

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 768

I'm a goober

By Louis - 07/01/2026 15:00

Today, I decided to clean my entire apartment. While vacuuming, I sucked up something big. I didn’t realize what it was until later when I couldn’t find my engagement ring. I digged through a vacuum bag full of dust, crumbs, and mystery hair, only to realize it was on my finger the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 458

Suspicious mind

By Mental minefield - 21/09/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, after my husband read about mental load and about what he could do to help with mine, I came home to a clean house, the chores done, and dinner on the stove. I was more anxious and stressed than ever, thinking, "What did he fuck up that I'm gonna find and have to fix at the worst possible time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 509

New fad dropped

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 20:00

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 416

First day

By Anonymous - 13/07/2026 22:00 - Canada

Today, after I'd told everyone I would finally be starting meal prepping to save money, on the very first day, I forgot every container in my fridge, so I still had to buy my lunch during my lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 315

Merry ******* Christmass

By Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 485

Three piss suite

By Anonymous - 03/02/2026 20:00

Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 459

No such thing as a free event

By NoAttentiontoDetails - 06/06/2026 00:00 - Germany

Today, I'd registered for a free work event, but I forgot about it and registered for a free social event on the same day. I thought I would skip the work event, but I need to pay 500 € to skip it! Why can't I remember dates?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 420

Don't drink and Amazon

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 374

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 442

Business time

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I've had a crush on this girl at my office for years. Our work sent us to a conference. We bonded there. That night, we were talking by the hotel pool and she leaned in and kissed me. Tongue and everything. The problem is, at 40, I still bite my nails when I'm nervous. Well, she choked on the finger nail in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 591

Sexy talk

By Cora - 06/08/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got in bed with my guy to have sex with him to distract myself from having diarrhea, when my gut cramped, my butt pushed, and I then doubled over from that as I yelled, "Why must I go doo-day right now?" I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I shit my bed before sex, or I called diarrhea "going doo-dah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 467

Hate the game, not the player

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 22:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy and it went great. I later found out that he came inside another girl, stole her sweatshirt, then left. After that, he proceeded to bang another girl. Both of these girls are in my friend group, and I still went on a date with him after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 500

Mother's Day is sacred

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to a note from my wife, saying that since I spent Father's Day golfing, she booked herself a spa day, so I could take care of our 4 kids and the house like she does every day. She ignored every single one of my calls and didn't even tell me what spa she went to. What mother does that to her family? FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 583

She's right

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my son came home upset that his crush is still friendzoning him. While he and I were coming up with a plan to get her to change her mind, my wife burst in and yelled, “She doesn’t fucking like him! Get the fuck over it and leave the poor girl alone!” Way to be supportive, hon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 343

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 03:00 - Canada - North York

Today, my first time having sex was in the back of her car in my university parking garage. We went for hours with people walking all around us not noticing, because we fogged up the car after a while. While I got out, I noticed my best friend with the biggest grin taking a picture of me getting out of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 491

Cough up

By Elastic Heart - 15/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I got my hair done. I wasn’t expecting a bayalage/blowdry/gloss package to cost $350. I only brought $100. I don’t get paid until next Friday, so I asked the salon lady if I could give her the rest then. She refused and said she either gives me a bob cut or calls the cops. I now look like Edna on crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 699

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 502

Missed that part of training, eh?

By I DID NOT KNOW - 09/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I found a mysterious button under my desk at work and pressed it out of curiosity. It was the emergency panic alarm. Within five minutes, security, my manager, and then two confused police officers were asking if I was OK. I just wanted to know what the button did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 536

Hangry

By Bitch shut up they ain't paying you to snitch - 10/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was hungry. Lacking money, I went into a Wawa and snagged a few tasty snacks, then walked out. Some damn do-gooder followed me out, shouting, "HE DIDN'T PAY!! THAT MAN DID NOT PAY!" I got my snacks confiscated and myself banned for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 237

Knackered

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 00:00

Today, it was my last day decorating a customer's house, I had one room to paint and that was it. I sat down on the stairs to check my phone before starting and woke up four hours later to the customer shaking me to see if I was alive, and then yelling at me for getting paid to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 474

Rubbing it in

By Ugly fat and old - 12/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 615

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 129

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 734

You deserved it 6 654

Random

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 011

You deserved it 3 802

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 466

You deserved it 3 660

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 041

You deserved it 10 917

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 532

You deserved it 2 444

Today, three days after receiving the vaccine, I was finally able to lift weights again. At the beginning of the workout, I broke my finger. Lifting weights is the one thing that keeps me from being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 176

Today, I faced my fear of needles and had my wisdom teeth extracted while awake. On the last tooth, I heard a loud crack. The root broke off in my jawbone and had to be drilled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 101