The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

Footie woes

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 00:00

Today, the owners of the team I support continue to employ a manager so bad that he has to be a double agent. Is it too much for a Manchester United fan to ask for, that we don't get relegated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 331

Little shit

By Tired mommy - 11/12/2025 00:00

Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 588

Hard work

By Maths - 02/02/2026 03:00

Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 367

In this economy?!

By No fair - 17/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I desperately want a kid with my wife, but unfortunately I'm stuck on the hook for child support. The kid was a mistake, a pregnancy from a relationship that lasted less than two months, and unless I can get my payments reduced there's no way my wife and I can afford a kid of our own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 683

Technology hates human

By I HATE THESE MACHINE - 12/10/2025 22:00

Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 416

Make a scene

By Doug - 21/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 287

Interesting design choice

By Graphic design - 24/04/2026 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I sent a final logo to a client after weeks of revisions. They loved it and immediately posted it on their website. An hour later I realized I'd left a placeholder font in one section that replaced a key letter with a random symbol. Their brand name now included what looked like a tiny alien face. It stayed live for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 300

Forgetful

By missy - 26/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I stopped at a supermarket after work and put my reusable bags on the counter while I paid. When I got home, I realized I'd left the bags at the checkout. I went back, and they were still there. Nobody had touched them. I felt strangely lucky and embarrassed at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 212

Freaks like me

By Porn addiction is real - 06/02/2026 12:00

Today, I finally decided I was sick of watching porn all the damn time and deleted the messaging apps I use for it. Now I've realized how attached I'd gotten to the freaks on there. I'm painfully sad and lonely now and I can't recover the accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 316

Why me?

By Irenne - 26/11/2025 03:00

Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 904

This is awkward…

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 394

Home alone

By Jdogg - 15/11/2025 00:00

Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 426

Oh, the irony

By I don't have an anger problem, the world has a moron problem - 29/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 823

New fangled technology

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 290

Bomb!

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 00:00 - Germany - Cologne

Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 448

Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 383

Surprised, indeed

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 22:00 - Denmark

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by cleaning the entire apartment while she was away. Three hours later, everything looked perfect. She came home, looked around, and immediately asked why her plant was missing. I had thrown it out because I thought it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 381

Irrigation

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 391

Zoning out

By Zoning laws - 25/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommate and I got into a heated argument over whether people should wear shoes inside the apartment. It escalated so badly that we now have masking tape dividing the floor into “shoe zones” and “clean zones” like a low-budget international border. Guests have started asking for instructions before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 354

Petrolhead

By Whoopsie - 04/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 371

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, a first date had gone surprisingly well. We spent two hours talking, laughed at the same dumb jokes, and even agreed to meet again. Walking home, I texted my best friend, "I think I actually like this one." Unfortunately, I sent it to my date instead. His response was, "Good to know I'm 'this one.'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 417

Snitched

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, at my new job, my coworkers pranked me by moving around the things on my desk. I was horribly upset by it and reported them all to HR. Now no one will talk to me and I'm the office pariah within my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 773

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 167

Hey big spender!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 328

Happy birthday!

By Broke girl - 31/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my friends that I’d cover dinner for my birthday. Five minutes later, my bank app hit me with a low-balance alert. Everyone had already picked their orders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 429

Isn't that some sort of crime?

By WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY - 16/02/2026 09:00

Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 148

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 437

How could you miss that?

By Kyla - 25/09/2026 09:00 - United States - Brewer

Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 259

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 699

Try new things, you never know…

By Chelsea - 07/12/2025 20:00

Today, as this is the real world, I accept that my guy likes me partly for my fit (and I think nice) body, so I accept him saying the one thing nicer than my body is me nude with another woman. So his B-day gift was me and a mutual lady friend in some joint nude pics. However, I do mind these pics turning me on more than my guy does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 333

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cheating Babies Love Surprise Health Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Weird Awkward Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute Sexism Painful Birthday Insects Miscellaneous Vacation Food Television TV shows Money Bosses Work Public freakouts Cops Fight

The Top

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 181

You deserved it 20 862

Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 179

You deserved it 6 417

Random

Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 444

You deserved it 1 237

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 201

You deserved it 40 348

Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 513

You deserved it 593

Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 313

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 331

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 124