Health: Emergency!

Emergency!

By Not dying. - 21/04/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 10 907

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Same thing different taste

Inside out?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 21:00

Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 147

By Tor - 21/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 810

You deserved it 12 958

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 580

You deserved it 4 362

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 811

You deserved it 442

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 849

You deserved it 6 934

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 02:00

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 413

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 20:00

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 7 349

By dead rats - 08/08/2016 13:58

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 1 317

VonBlitzkrieg 27

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

A "fart attack," if you will.

CODplayer4lyfe 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.

Comments

VonBlitzkrieg 27

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

A "fart attack," if you will.

apitrix 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:23

Let it goooooo!

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 21 April 2015 17:22

Medical term: Myocardial infartion.

brokenjawskhan 21

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:13

Hahah lmao. Don't down vote #15 he is referring to Lovato

vikky538 28

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:58

#29 thanks for sharing knowledge

BlackPhoenixNite 14

Tuesday 21 April 2015 19:03

Thank you for this. It's the best thing I've seen in a long time :D

kellyem2 20

Tuesday 21 April 2015 21:03

^This.

teentee401 36

Tuesday 21 April 2015 21:44

Do you watch Parks and Recreation by any chance?

incoherentrmblr 21

Wednesday 22 April 2015 0:08

Though it was loud, the better question is how long was it...

assassinmaster 22

Wednesday 22 April 2015 10:18

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffff. This fart attack...

lovethatstach 18

Wednesday 22 April 2015 20:26

best comment ever.

CODplayer4lyfe 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:15

But how else would I know that I have swollen appendages with irate smacking syndrome?!

JKROB 16

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:45

ouch, I hit my elbow and it hurts... Web MD "elbow cancer" damn, I'm dead

Sotanostash 20

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:00

You either have cancer or you're pregnant..

Zebediabolical 39

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:33

...or both. Your cancer is pregnant.

gatorclay97 28

Tuesday 21 April 2015 19:54

I put minor leg cramps into webmd and it said I had a broken leg

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 21 April 2015 21:51

At least it didn't say you were an amputee, then you KNOW it's bullshit.

danimal_crackerz 26

Wednesday 22 April 2015 17:37

The international is good, however it's always the worst case scenario.

fordneagles 34

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:14

The Internet has a list of causes as long as your arm for every symptom you could ever have... Chances are good that if the Internet is telling you it's a heart attack, it's probably not a heart attack.