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Bad timing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got fired because I abruptly hung up on my boss while being pulled over for talking in a hands free zone. I also got a $300 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 993

You deserved it 2 415

Tarred

By RetailJocky - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 342

Here we go again

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the dentist and found out I still have a wisdom tooth. I got all four out last summer… or at least I thought I did. Now I have to go back and get it removed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 666

You deserved it 242

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 645

You deserved it 374

Plus one

By Partyofthree - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I work at a private pool where I can get up to six people in for free. Naturally, I invited my crush. She brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 599

You deserved it 1 336

TMI

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. Being dumped wasn't the reaction I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 202

You deserved it 252

Praise

By Jesusman - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with, "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying, "By him, I mean Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 168

You deserved it 370

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 127

You deserved it 423

Cheapskates

By 2broke4ajoke - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 915

You deserved it 215

GHOSTS!

By heartattack - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 914

You deserved it 377

Creepy

By Mrs. Awkward - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it was perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 372

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 826

You deserved it 341

Weird dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 315

Valid reason?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my husband only dated me because I look like what he thought the daughter he had with his first wife might look like when she's grown up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 257

How is that fair?

By Henry - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was promoted as an auditor at an insurance company. After finding 9 compliance violations and over $15,000 returned incorrectly, I reported them to my manager. She blamed me for all the mistakes and fired me. These mistakes happened two years before I was employed with the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 770

You deserved it 186

Dodgy reaction

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of five years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 750

You deserved it 217

Can't win

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my supervisor told me off for doing something. When I reminded her that she told me to do it, she yelled at me for correcting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 705

You deserved it 218

On my way!

By ButNotBed - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 1 030

The other shoe drops

By ConstantChoas - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out the procedure manual I've been creating for months and finally finished is going to be used to train the person replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 230

Scarecrow

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 765

Hello?

By littl3storm - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 607

You deserved it 227

He's probably right

By Ferniferousfern - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 532

You deserved it 559

Mom of the year

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother sat me down and told me, "I'm not going to lie, I hate living with you. Please get a job and move out." I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 508

You deserved it 313

Technique

By dumped - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 198

Lost and found

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to go meet my professor at 12. I wound up showing up almost an hour late. Why? Because she doesn't teach at the campus I registered at. I wound up having to visit TWO different campuses before I reached the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 547

Repetition

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 415

Dick move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 424

You deserved it 379

Let me sleep!

By ineed sleep!!! - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 410

You deserved it 306

VADE RETRO SATANAS

By Christopher - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 561

Baby brain

By Mike - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, we had two-year wedding anniversary. A few months ago, I insisted on going to a therapist because my wife can only think and talk about our one-year kid. My present for her was a Spa day, flowers and chocolate. Her gift to me was a Lego set to build for our kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 328

You deserved it 541

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 903

Today, my daughter's school is furious because we were 3 hours late picking her up. My son, who was supposed to pick her up, apparently accidentally fell asleep after masturbating himself to exhaustion, which is why when we finally got home he was asleep with his pants down, porn still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 295

Random

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 732

You deserved it 6 911

Today, I graduated with a CS degree and a certification in networking, only to make $12/hr. Guess some trade jobs are worthless now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 369

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. In Walmart. Over the loudspeaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 202

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 103

You deserved it 267

Today, I'm on crutches and wearing an orthopedic boot because a 22.5 pound box of cat litter fell out of my back hatch onto my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 278

Today, I found out my boyfriend was “quiet dumping” me. He thought treating me like shit to the point of me leaving the relationship would be easier than him having to tell me he’s cheating on me. Apparently he didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” Well played, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 145