Dick move

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 18:00

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 087
You deserved it 310
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Top comments

honestjane 22

To be honest, that is pretty funny. But they probably would have come off with a warm bath.

26 1
jbuckets_404 38

Did he attach them while flaccid or erect? Either would hurt when there's a change in state. Lol!

18 0

Comments

ViviMage 39

It'll fall off in a few days! The dick or the Googly eyes, I'm not sure!

9 1
jbuckets_404 38

Did he attach them while flaccid or erect? Either would hurt when there's a change in state. Lol!

18 0
merican_redneck4 11

It would hurt much less with erect to flaccid

1 0
honestjane 22

To be honest, that is pretty funny. But they probably would have come off with a warm bath.

26 1
alycion 38

It was. Especially to those who treated him. That’s a holiday dinner story for years to come.

14 0
RichardPencil 30

It is funny!! Why did you have to go to the hospital? I guess it’s the one place you can show strangers the hilarious googly-eyed dick without getting arrested.

14 0
Mungolikecandy 19

Googly Eyes make everything better!

5 0
RichardPencil 30

I’m imagining bacon with googly eyes. That’s what perfection looks/tastes like!

2 0
Lora Wood 11

You will babysit him for the duration of the marriage.

6 0
Emiweb 9

Well, he wasn't wrong...

8 0
oldtimer 3

You didn’t have to do anything, they would fall off eventually. Or you could’ve used nail polish remover to get them off. If you went to the emergency room you’re going to get a BIG bill.

4 0
BurnInDemonFire 35

His audience would have been significantly higher than expected, but I guarantee everyone laughed. And so will others who find out in the future. Like me.

4 0