Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, my psychologist canceled our appointment due to Covid. I'm a mess and was looking forward to our meeting, it's the only constant thing in my life. FML
Today, my psychologist broke up with me, professionally. It's alright though, she told me it's her, not me. FML
Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML
Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML
Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You can piss on his couch and call it even!
Phil 14
I'm going to take a guess, and assume that you were both really drunk, and that in all likelihood he didn't remember you. If he did after seeing you, he should decline to be your psychologist for ethical reasons.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
You can piss on his couch and call it even!
Phil 14
I'm going to take a guess, and assume that you were both really drunk, and that in all likelihood he didn't remember you. If he did after seeing you, he should decline to be your psychologist for ethical reasons.