Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
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Top comments
Ghostrui 31
1. Get it yourself 2. Just end the relationship so they don't have to endure your abuse
Blimix 9
There are lots of things that could be going on, from him trolling you, to him feigning incompetence so that you'll start shopping, to him trying to get you to break up with him, to him having genuine cognitive difficulties, to him being so flustered by your screaming at him that he can't think straight. In exactly zero of these scenarios is it appropriate for you to respond with the abuse you've described yourself giving him. This situation is a massive red flag. Complaining that there's a red flag doesn't fix it. You need an honest talk with him about what is going wrong here. If you two can't have an honest talk, without screaming and threats, then you already have no relationship.
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Comments (12)
Ghostrui 31
1. Get it yourself 2. Just end the relationship so they don't have to endure your abuse
Iamthebanzai22 21
He must be doing it on purpose. Is he secretly filming you and calling it a 'prank'? Either way, just break up with him. Or go to the shop with him and see what he is doing wrong. Did he really go through his whole life without buying toilet paper?
Gubbon 17
What? Of course it's on purpose. He was showing her that she overreacted horribly. And rightfully so. Break up with him?! Are you serious? She can be happy he doesn't do that after that breakout.
Blimix 9
There are lots of things that could be going on, from him trolling you, to him feigning incompetence so that you'll start shopping, to him trying to get you to break up with him, to him having genuine cognitive difficulties, to him being so flustered by your screaming at him that he can't think straight. In exactly zero of these scenarios is it appropriate for you to respond with the abuse you've described yourself giving him. This situation is a massive red flag. Complaining that there's a red flag doesn't fix it. You need an honest talk with him about what is going wrong here. If you two can't have an honest talk, without screaming and threats, then you already have no relationship.
JuneBleeds4 20
You sound like a real charming person to be in a relationship with.
Gubbon 17
Amazing trolling of his, and you deserve every bit of it.
Crowned Sataness 12
this is called weaponized incompetence and it's deliberate. if you get tired of it you'll go do it yourself so he doesn't have to
Schm17ty 1
Of course the first comment is “do it yourself”. That’s the whole purpose of weaponized incompetence. If he’s that dumb it’s probably not right to sleep with him. I just don’t think it’s right to take advantage of mentally handicapped people like that.
Hangryko 32
Break up with him already.
Thaylok 17
The best way to not be asked to do chores like shopping or dishes is to totally F it up enough times that they quit asking you to do them.
poopface82 25
It’s called weaponozed incompetence, and it’s a form of abuse. Dump this jerk.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I think the abuser here is the one threatening murder/suicide over toilet paper.