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Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

by lonelygirl / 02/14/2010 at 12:03am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

by Anon O'Mous / 01/02/2012 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

by nomoresbfun / 02/22/2010 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

by MissPerspirent / 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm / Canada / Health

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

by Fv-day / 02/14/2010 at 11:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

by malos / 08/12/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Work

Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML

by shavednipples / 10/11/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

by 12693 / 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

by groundedasfuck / 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

by --- / 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

by clitty clitty bang bang / 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous