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Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (2808)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (1730)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (51245)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (4361)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

#19611512
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (1912)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm - animals - by Eric Ngan - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (5313)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

#3032403
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (35241)

On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (53647)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (4978)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

#8293318
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (4306)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (1838)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

#8664112
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21000) - you deserved it (3695)

On 02/26/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by canadiansun - United States (Ohio)



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