By MM Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML I agree, your life sucks 25085 You deserved it 3636 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BoringFucker - United Kingdom Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML I agree, your life sucks 42277 You deserved it 4716 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By raynbowsend - Malaysia Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML I agree, your life sucks 54168 You deserved it 6708 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML I agree, your life sucks 31065 You deserved it 13568 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bully slayer - Philippines - Pasay City Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 2890 You deserved it 192 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theothercassie Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML I agree, your life sucks 36439 You deserved it 2592 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ineverknew - United States Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML I agree, your life sucks 76606 You deserved it 7908 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Failed Artist - United States - Des Moines Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML I agree, your life sucks 21868 You deserved it 1719 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blinded - United States Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML I agree, your life sucks 16136 You deserved it 26728 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bruised - United States - Novi Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML I agree, your life sucks 23693 You deserved it 3010 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Erie Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 42532 You deserved it 6459 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML I agree, your life sucks 27670 You deserved it 2165 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sara - 24/7/2020 23:01 Spotted Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1075 You deserved it 137 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/3/2020 08:00 Rules are rules Today, as I was leaving a night shift at McDonald’s, a woman wanted to use the toilets. I explained our doors didn’t open until 7 a.m. now due to COVID-19. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and as I went to walk off, I got a swift knee in the nuts for my troubles. FML I agree, your life sucks 1686 You deserved it 131 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jayden5 - United Kingdom Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML I agree, your life sucks 34244 You deserved it 9207 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cheated - United States Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 75742 You deserved it 4521 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany Night terrors Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML I agree, your life sucks 26457 You deserved it 2488 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By miiiiilk - United States Superfuzz Big Muff Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML I agree, your life sucks 31528 You deserved it 9488 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By woof woof?? - Canada - Sherwood Park Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 64777 You deserved it 9970 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/6/2020 08:08 Assumptions Today, a salesman came to the door and I assumed the guy was peddling solar stuff. Before the poor guy had a chance to say anything, I blurted out, "We don't need any, we only spend $80 on electricity in the summer." He pointed to his shirt and replied, "I'm an exterminator." I then tried to awkwardly apologize. FML I agree, your life sucks 603 You deserved it 1534 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By big steve - United States Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 25731 You deserved it 6212 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML I agree, your life sucks 14524 You deserved it 43477 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stranded - United States Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML I agree, your life sucks 25600 You deserved it 7616 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zapped - United States Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML I agree, your life sucks 6839 You deserved it 46231 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By agony - United States Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML I agree, your life sucks 36933 You deserved it 5859 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JEalmon12 Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML I agree, your life sucks 781 You deserved it 1684 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Queenbee26 - United States Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML I agree, your life sucks 5087 You deserved it 518 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend saw me without make-up for the first time we've been dating for two years. He freaked because he didn't know who I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 1071 You deserved it 2529 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pouya - United States Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML I agree, your life sucks 11735 You deserved it 42739 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML I agree, your life sucks 53868 You deserved it 8795 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lohandork - United Kingdom - Roehampton Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 7135 You deserved it 11045 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mikey832 - United Kingdom Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML I agree, your life sucks 46780 You deserved it 14754 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Munkeh - United Kingdom - Birmingham Faithful Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 40381 You deserved it 4031 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By depressednupset - United States Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML I agree, your life sucks 42438 You deserved it 8205 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML I agree, your life sucks 58525 You deserved it 7528 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML I agree, your life sucks 22859 You deserved it 37552 351 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Adios Career - United States Today, a great job I have been wanting to apply for opened for applications. Turns out it requires a clean background with no credit issues. I recently got a notice saying my wife and I are being sued over an unpaid $140 medical bill that she neglected to pay. FML I agree, your life sucks 24029 You deserved it 2138 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I ended up in the hospital due to a severe acid reflux attack. I knew I had acid reflux for years, but was never allowed to get it checked out. Why? My dad told me I was too young to have it and that I was making it up. I now have to see a specialist. FML I agree, your life sucks 4040 You deserved it 258 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CWoah - Canada Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML I agree, your life sucks 14004 You deserved it 69776 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kismet_fire - United States - San Francisco Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML I agree, your life sucks 34731 You deserved it 2697 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 35 3 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 849 You deserved it 297 5 Comments