By XxJennJennXxX - United States Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 36800 You deserved it 2501 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoPromotionForYou - 7/5/2020 14:00 The sweet smell of success Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 1382 You deserved it 563 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fonsui - United States Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML I agree, your life sucks 24267 You deserved it 4269 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emm - United States Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML I agree, your life sucks 39252 You deserved it 9542 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Marsing Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 47382 You deserved it 12230 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By worksux - United States Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML I agree, your life sucks 40920 You deserved it 4120 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 35458 You deserved it 10567 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Oops. Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 3788 You deserved it 1070 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By christous - France Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML I agree, your life sucks 31422 You deserved it 4944 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 49673 You deserved it 3479 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By paaaallllmmmssss - South Africa - Johannesburg Today, my dad's order of hair clippers arrived. I've been putting off getting a haircut for a while now, and he offered to give me one for free. Long story short, he managed to ruin the hair clippers, and I now look like a diseased palm tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 22142 You deserved it 3270 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugly - Netherlands Tough Love Today, during a conversation with my in-laws, I opened up about my insecurities concerning my looks. My mother-in-law responded, "But you're not beautiful." She then repeated it. FML I agree, your life sucks 4992 You deserved it 470 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kortnie Peterman Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML I agree, your life sucks 3153 You deserved it 436 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - United States - Dearborn Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML I agree, your life sucks 28494 You deserved it 2627 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Newton Center Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML I agree, your life sucks 18484 You deserved it 2088 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By full moon - Canada - Ottawa Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 13882 You deserved it 8936 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreversingle - Netherlands - Helmond Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML I agree, your life sucks 49335 You deserved it 3974 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ayye_its_nikki - United States - Cedar Park Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 38466 You deserved it 21297 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By razordot - Australia - Brisbane Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML I agree, your life sucks 1046 You deserved it 1968 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nkotz - United States Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML I agree, your life sucks 40950 You deserved it 7276 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By taurus05 - United States Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML I agree, your life sucks 25006 You deserved it 3290 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cap - United States - Manhattan Last trip Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML I agree, your life sucks 2124 You deserved it 279 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joxerthemighty39 - United States Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML I agree, your life sucks 31745 You deserved it 3420 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GotGasNotLuck - Australia - Girraween Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 33142 You deserved it 2231 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Infadel - United States - San Marcos Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37752 You deserved it 10470 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myrkes - Switzerland - Marstetten Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML I agree, your life sucks 28049 You deserved it 3008 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kira - United States Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML I agree, your life sucks 25519 You deserved it 7872 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foxy - United States Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML I agree, your life sucks 23547 You deserved it 3523 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UsedForSurgery Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML I agree, your life sucks 3697 You deserved it 213 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By orgasmsareoverratedanyway - Norway - Myre Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML I agree, your life sucks 34778 You deserved it 5223 240 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1507 You deserved it 343 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Honest mistake Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 2379 You deserved it 5055 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML I agree, your life sucks 46236 You deserved it 12146 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/11/2020 05:01 Not prepared enough Today, I had a maths test and I realised that I'd studied the wrong topics. The teacher said the test would be difficult and I stayed up till 1 a.m. just to be prepared. FML I agree, your life sucks 656 You deserved it 467 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarassed_chick - United States Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML I agree, your life sucks 57595 You deserved it 4761 314 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By .... - United States Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML I agree, your life sucks 13114 You deserved it 108023 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grrrr - United States Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML I agree, your life sucks 34332 You deserved it 2859 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By retailworker Customer service Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML I agree, your life sucks 7300 You deserved it 546 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Yue - Canada Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 35178 You deserved it 2599 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the bad artist - Australia - Sydney Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML I agree, your life sucks 25278 You deserved it 2595 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By real life problems | 26 #7694086 - Sunday 16 September 2018 1:19 How about when she farts in sleep, can a man do that too Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By adelaine782002 | 17 #7694138 - Sunday 16 September 2018 7:15 nah...never! haven't you heard, our farts smell like Rose's! 🤣🤣 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By real life problems | 26 #7694086 - Sunday 16 September 2018 1:19 How about when she farts in sleep, can a man do that too Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Reply adelaine782002 | 17 #7694138 - Sunday 16 September 2018 7:15 nah...never! haven't you heard, our farts smell like Rose's! 🤣🤣 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 719 You deserved it 51 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 310 6 Comments