Today, I (32F) tried to break a two month dry spell with my boyfriend of five years. He pointed out a cold sore on my lip. I never got cold sores before I met him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I realized why I've developed painful, flaky, dry patches above my upper lip. It's from kissing my new boyfriend, whose facial hair irritates my skin. He really dislikes how he looks without it, so my best option might be to just stop kissing him. FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I reassured everyone at work that the mark on my lip was just a pimple, not a cold sore. It's actually neither. I, a 21-year-old young woman, slipped while shaving my moustache and sliced off part of my lip. FML
Today, I realised I had a bad month. Last week, I threw out my back; the week before, my girlfriend got a cold sore; this week, I got chickenpox at the ripe age of 31 years. When I went to bed last night, I found my girlfriend sound asleep with her vibrator in one hand. We haven't had sex for so long, I can't even blame her. FML
Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for a year, decided to tell me that he has herpes and has not taken any precautions to stop it from passing on. We have had unprotected sex quite a lot over the last year, so now I most likely have herpes too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nikki 17
Sounds like he gave you herpes
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
Nikki 17
Sounds like he gave you herpes