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Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (5468)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (8258)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22705) - you deserved it (1612)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (3678)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

#14504771
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (41005)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (2159)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (1740)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (12542)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

#21339043
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (9427)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm - animals - by bad luck Bianca - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (5255)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (9437)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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