Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (62288)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15461) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (44392)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15449) - you deserved it (7689)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (2144)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15443) - you deserved it (2191)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (80042)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (4277)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

#20056910
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15431) - you deserved it (3418)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (39644)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: