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Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (2665)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

#14018478
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (6831)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:03am - health - by caliibbyy -

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (5026)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (2906)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (22535)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

#7010601
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/29/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Stumanji (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

#19630951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2202)

On 05/16/2012 at 3:36am - work - by jobless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (5177)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (3095)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)



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