Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (4283)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (2159)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (2422)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (4434)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (3286)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

#21326721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (2344)

On 12/29/2014 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (16191)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (10104)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (40265)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: