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Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15599) - you deserved it (53503)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (3206)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15596) - you deserved it (7571)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (39860)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (1430)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15589) - you deserved it (41399)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15588) - you deserved it (28089)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (2769)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15583) - you deserved it (64369)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

#6610013
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15582) - you deserved it (4373)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:29am - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (4337)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (1886)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

#19913768
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (19831)

On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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