The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 1 115

My booze

By I-Love-My-Wife - 14/01/2021 10:56

Today, it's my wife's birthday. She also sleepwalks, sleep eats and sleep drinks. This morning, her subconscious remembered it was her birthday and wanted to celebrate in style. I found my $200 bottle of Johnny Walker Blue was missing 3". She doesn't remember drinking it. I'm so glad she enjoyed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 281

Not the brightest bulb

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 03:00

Today, I found out that a female colleague thinks that because I got a vasectomy, I "got my balls chopped off." Then again, this woman also believes the cracks in her front brick fence are because her house is built on the equator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 113

Sneezy

By Karen - 20/10/2022 00:00 - United States - Kent

Today, I rang up a very rude customer. He was covered in cat hair and so were his reusable shopping bags. I’m very allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 122

Time flies

By Anonymous - 12/02/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a self-destructive personality among other things. I saw everything from my past instantly, like photographic memory recall. It was utterly terrifying, from extreme childhood drug-induced trauma that continues to this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 147

Boring

By Talentles.Bitch - 17/03/2023 06:00

Today, yet again I was made to feel how talentless and boring of a person I am. I have great academic achievements, making me one among the top 0.02% youth of my country, but am so uninteresting and introverted that people don't want to be friends with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 254

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 14:00

Today, at a BBQ, my boyfriend's friend told us, “Oh, this reminds my of the time I got third degree burns on my dick.” He’s been trying to talk to me, and I keep thinking about it how it must look like Freddie Kruger's. I don’t know what I just agreed to help him with, but I’m sure it will be a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 300

Wakey wakey

By gumbymn - 17/03/2021 00:30

Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 408

This season on Succession…

By DeathBySquirrelsShallBeHis - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my dad started openly playing favorites among his kids, just to start drama. I had to warn my little sister - the favorite - that he was using her senior photos to do it. I'm gonna kill him, and get her a better dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 149

Genetics

By merr - 13/02/2023 16:00

Today, despite being skinny everywhere else on my body, I have a double chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 152

Gimme dah maaahney

By Shawn Kotris - 21/05/2021 22:01 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, I've been waiting for over a year now to get my 2019 tax refund. I did mess up and underreported 2 grand initially. I resent everything as soon as I realized what I'd done, and I'm expecting a nice chunk of change and can't file my 2020 taxes until this is sorted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 263

People will always need plumbers

By ThisIsYourDoc - 15/03/2023 14:00

Today, my hourly wage as a doctor is exactly 80 cents more than the hourly wage of my friend's, who did an apprenticeship with no extra diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 273

Happy wife, happy life

By seriously - 12/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I got married and my wife has since gained over forty pounds of unhealthy weight. She's not depressed, she's very happy with the marriage, she's just "comfortable" now. We are in our early thirties, and we started off as workout partners. I've been going to the gym alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 217

Nice try

By Gog - 26/05/2021 07:59

Today, someone tried to scam me by selling me a ticket to a Chris Cornell concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 114

Mr Fixit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 12:00

Today, I fixed a tech support problem I was emailed about. I fixed it, then replied back to let them know, and let them know to use the ticketing system next time. They logged the same problem I just fixed not 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 158

Take the L

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 229

Judge Judy

By mother of a weirdo - 20/07/2022 16:00

Today, my teenage daughter came out into the living room and began belting out a song. When I cleared my throat, she screamed, turned beet red, and said, “I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!” She’d been hiding all day, and to say I'm judging her would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 513

Need help

By Nohelpforyou - 04/03/2022 18:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 158

Three's company

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 07:59

Today, after I searched for three months and found the coolest jacket and was stoked, my fiancé and our guy friend both ordered the same jacket so we can all match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 225

Imposter syndrome?

By Anonymous - 23/07/2022 16:00

Today, it's been half a year that I've been having panic attacks whenever I close my eyes and go to sleep. I wake up everyday feeling guilty for not starting my work ahead of time. All throughout the day, I try to keep on working until night, because whenever I try to sleep, take a break, listen to music, or watch a series, I feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 185

Phoneless in Seattle

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 23:00

Today, in a rush to get to the gym after work for a class, I left my phone in the office. It's Friday and the building will be locked until Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 419

By Mac22 - 12/02/2016 05:02 - Senegal - Dakar

Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They cut the cable that supplies my apartment in electricity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 63

Knackered

By mala_19 - 23/11/2022 14:00 - Sweden - Skellefte?

Today, I'm six weeks pregnant and so far I've had more naps than I've had in my entire adulthood. My last pregnancy I got put on sick leave, partly because I was so exhausted. Here we go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 241

Sounds like a Wednesday

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 22:00

Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 1 736

Leg day (and night)

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 16:00

Today, after a long day at work, my legs were aching by the time I got home. Tired, I tried to go to bed early. Now the only thing preventing me from sleeping is the pain in my legs. It’s 4 a.m. now and no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 109

By Robin - 12/03/2012 11:57 - Russia

Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or widthwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 83

Hang in there

By R Kelly's scapegoat - 11/12/2022 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 733

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By lonely - 19/05/2023 18:00

Today, I realized my best friend has turned into a penpal, as we never see each other, and only text about once a month. She was my only friend outside of family, and now I feel crushingly lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 122

Can’nae take any more, Captain!

By Emma - 15/02/2022 12:00

Today, I crouched in front of my closet, lost my balance, and broke my thumb trying to steady myself. I'm an artist, and can't work now. I should probably lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 303

Go on, why?

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 04:00

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 441

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Family Love Poopoo peepee Awkward Money Annoying Raining Work Painful Health Medication Miscellaneous Relationship advice Relatable AITA Mental health Psychology Cats Animals Allergies Cheating Kids Weddings Drunk Embarrassing Singing Sports Furniture Airplanes Transportation

The Top

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 1 668

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 040

You deserved it 11 448

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 141

You deserved it 47 024

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 805

You deserved it 4 021

Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 396