Work: Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while... - FML

By Ex-Employee - 31/07/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 087

You deserved it 1 001

Stop talking!

Broken heart

Carless whisper

By Danners88 - 11/11/2009 04:36 - Australia

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 296

You deserved it 2 831

By Anonymous - 17/05/2014 19:33 - United States - Fresno

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 449

You deserved it 5 754

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 14:10 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 918

You deserved it 3 536

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 329

You deserved it 201

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 190

Wankers of the world unite!

By ari - 19/03/2012 05:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 820

You deserved it 53 110

By baconbxtch - 22/08/2013 02:45 - United States - Orlando

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 913

You deserved it 4 700

By insightful - 20/03/2012 04:33 - Australia

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 178

You deserved it 10 996

By ugh - 12/11/2014 03:31 - United States - Antioch

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 3 547

By killerxdeagles - 23/12/2014 02:22 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was t-boned and my truck was rendered useless. I was given a ticket even though the man who hit me ran a red light. Why? Because there was dirt on my license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 3 080

By fuck people - 02/08/2013 20:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 965

You deserved it 3 163

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 2 781

Can't win

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 03:00 - Philippines - Manila

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 100

By takeiteasy - 07/01/2009 03:58 - France

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 648

You deserved it 34 449

By "nzfireman" - 04/09/2017 13:00

Today, while going into the fire station for a call out, I opened my locker door on our only available driver and knocked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 883

You deserved it 375

Young at heart

By nothreat33 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister that read, "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 505

You deserved it 3 835

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 12:40 - Canada - Toronto

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 809

You deserved it 1 532

By guttedgirl - 04/06/2011 11:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 315

You deserved it 23 507

By Why? - 05/03/2015 22:34 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 491

You deserved it 2 529

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 19:11 - United States - Ontario

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 359

You deserved it 4 482

Cones

By Blinkin - 08/09/2021 02:00

Today, I recently woke up colourblind and so far no doctor or surgeon can tell me why. I'm a graphic designer, I went to university and put years of practise into this specific skill set, I need to see in colour or this could cost me my job and ruin my career prospects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 51

By BlueSuit - 14/02/2016 19:20 - United States - New York

Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 455

You deserved it 1 392

By harro101 - 05/03/2010 05:24 - Australia

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 6 174

By majorlyturnedoff - 21/08/2012 03:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 202

You deserved it 3 315

Snared

By drummerboy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 772

You deserved it 2 195

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 5 513

By Anonymous - 25/06/2019 22:14

Today, my mother-in-law told me to "just wait" until she gets home from her trip, because apparently, taking a vacation with her partner is more important than the birth of her first grandchild. Contractions started a few hours ago. Part of me hopes she misses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 198

By MarieAmber18 - 28/05/2015 18:05 - United States - Pasadena

Spicy

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 787

You deserved it 6 030

By confiancedecrise - 22/05/2017 16:00

Today, I was texting a girl I was interested in and we exchanged Instagram names. She ghosted me right after. She's the fourth girl to have done this to me in the past month. I guess I'm unattractive, but at least I'm good at texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 621

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 322

You deserved it 3 674

By Umlungu23 - 18/02/2019 00:00

Today, during my lunch break, I sat on the manager's chair. As I sat down, I heard a snapping sound and I ended up on the floor. Everyone now calls me "the lumpy girl" who broke the manager's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 417

Compensating

By Jpev - 12/05/2016 01:09 - United States - Huntsville

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking back to my car after a long day of work. A large SUV had parked next to mine, so I jokingly said to my girlfriend, "What do you think they're compensating for?" That's when the couple behind us unlocked their vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 059

You deserved it 4 304

By Anonymous - 15/07/2015 16:29 - United States - Katy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 846

You deserved it 2 699

Voice over

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 00:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized anytime I try to say anything, relatives will talk over me, change the subject, or go off on tangents about ancient family history that I don't want to hear for the 1000th time. Yet if I interrupt them once, I'm the bad one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 06/05/2016 18:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 279

You deserved it 2 125

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 198

You deserved it 180 619

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 254

By gregoyles - 15/02/2009 09:06 - United States

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 079

You deserved it 44 055

By blackitalian - 26/11/2010 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 118

You deserved it 31 730

By EFFED4LIFE - 11/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 002

You deserved it 13 412

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Top comments

MrDonSalvetti 27

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Sunday 31 July 2016 16:51

HR...

redcode5 17

Sunday 31 July 2016 17:12

What was line of work was would be helpful in this case, if you are a janitor, fast food worker or someone from IT.

Comments

MrDonSalvetti 27

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Sunday 31 July 2016 16:51

HR...

Viper_Revenge 10

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Sunday 31 July 2016 16:54

Cleanliness is always a priority, until of course its means you interrupt whatever your precious boss was watching Brazzers

redcode5 17

Sunday 31 July 2016 17:12

What was line of work was would be helpful in this case, if you are a janitor, fast food worker or someone from IT.

Lalala579121 27

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Sunday 31 July 2016 17:17

That's why you do your house cleaning *before* your conference calls.

almost_there44 26

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Sunday 31 July 2016 17:28

If you were vacuuming when business was still open and customers were still there then I can see the reason why your boss fired you. If not, a quick trip to HR won't hurt. This needs a follow up.

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Sunday 31 July 2016 18:42

OP works at a vacuum cleaner store...

pandalover69 26

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Sunday 31 July 2016 19:29

13, where are you getting that from? No one on here is claiming to the OP yet.

siggy_mcsigx 22

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Monday 1 August 2016 3:24

Whatever happened to managers giving warnings or guiding staff to do what's appropriate? Bosses on FML are so trigger-happy to fire their staff. Running a vacuum cleaner even during open shop hours just does not warrant getting fired when he could simply be told to put it away and only do it between the hours of such and such. People should only be fired over grave administrative errors, unruly behavior, or prolonged incompetency.

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Monday 1 August 2016 15:32

#16; It's a joke - playing on the common "plot twist" trope. I don't even know if "Vacuum Cleaner Stores" actually exist, anymore, since this isn't the 50s. Maybe I was being too subtle.

RememberSchlitz 9

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Sunday 31 July 2016 17:34

I cannot believe I'm the first one to say "that sucks".

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Sunday 31 July 2016 19:19

You suck.

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Sunday 31 July 2016 17:37

You must have one… exciting workplace for that to cause commotion. I can imagine people gathering around the water cooler years from now to reflect on that one wild time a vacuum cleaner was on—that is assuming your office has recovered by then.

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Sunday 31 July 2016 18:46

Unfortunately, after the vacuum fiasco (vac-asco) they had to shut it down.

LyricaSilvan 29

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Monday 1 August 2016 11:51

"Hey, Bill..remember that time somebody had the nerve to start up a vacuum in the office?" "Sssh! Don't bring that up around Tom. He's still seeing a therapist for the irrational fear of vacuums that incident gave him."

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Monday 1 August 2016 13:10

Maybe OP works with animals and the dogs were concerned by the noisy intruder.

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Sunday 31 July 2016 18:01

guess you'll just have to... suck it up ; )

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Sunday 31 July 2016 18:11

I'm sorry op! Hopefully they have An HR dep there

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Sunday 31 July 2016 18:26

wow

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 64

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 228