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None of your business

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 17:01

Today, I told my mom my husband and I were considering having another baby. She said, "No!" about 30 times. Then later she texted me that she insists on no more kids. I guess I will never have that bonding moment with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 177

My big face

By Anonymous - 02/08/2023 03:00

Today, I took a selfie and I looked creepy in it, so I sent it to a friend thinking it would be funny. He just said, "Dude, that's what you look like. I don't get it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 297

Let 'em in

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Västerås

Today, it's been a little while since I found out that my parents are getting a divorce. They'd been married for 25 years and my father got bored and lost feelings. My mother is crying and howling on the bathroom floor right now. It has happened before, but since it was in our upstairs bathroom, I could open the door with a knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 145

Dying inside

By Deedee - 13/01/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I confidently walked into a coffee shop, ordered a cappuccino, and went to sit down. On my way over to read my book at a table, I knocked over a stack of chairs by tripping on a rug. The worst part? I had to sit there, sipping my drink, and reading the same sentence over and over again, while everyone watched me slowly die inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 168

Gotta start somewhere

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 107

I loved that little guy!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 02:00

Today, I thought my coworker had confided to me that a close friend had died too soon, but it turns out she'd just ruined an expensive pan. We talked for 10 minutes and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 111

That's entertainment

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 10:00

Today, in the middle of an argument with my wife, our autistic son started calling out tennis scores, which turned out to be his way of keeping score of who was winning the argument. Apparently, by the end, it was 40-love approaching server's deuce point, which I think means I lost the argument badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 239

Wasps can **** right off

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 18:00

Today, a wasp flew straight up my nose and stung inside my nose and my upper lip about 8 times. I would very much like to be put in a medically-induced coma right now, but the emergency room nurse thinks I'm joking. I’m very much not joking, I want to be unconscious ASAP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 123

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 526

No one (in HR) wants to work anymore

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 11:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I have applied to over 50 different jobs in the last month. I have NOT received a call or email back from any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 74

The cost of sucking up

By Louis DJ - 04/02/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 713

Well, that was a waste of time and money…

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, instead of waking up positively and full of energy like I was expecting, I woke up with a whopper of a migraine, and could barely get out of bed. The only reason I expected something different is because yesterday I got hypnotised to think that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 235

Unfair

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 08:01

Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 156

Slot machine addicts

By Hospoh8r - 24/03/2021 18:01 - New Zealand

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 83

Presumptuous

By not a bad mom - 12/06/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a makeup store at the mall to get foundation to match her skin. The woman behind the counter scoffed, rolled her eyes, then called me a Karen when I asked for a manager. My daughter is 7 and I was getting makeup to match her elf ears for a costume we were making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 359

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 386

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 02:01

Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 167

Time for the dentist

By Ethan - 07/04/2021 20:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 216

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 127

**** those dudes

By who tf asked you! - 15/09/2023 10:00

Today, already stressed from my classes, I decided to scarf down a huge burrito while on break at school. Some Andrew Taint wannabe decided to come over to my area and tell me how unattractive I was for eating so much. Fuck you, dude! FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 159

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I've worked for the power company for six years. My wife and her family still don't understand that I don't control their power bills, I can't give them a discount, and I can't answer their questions since I don't work in Billing. Every month, it's the same tired arguments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 69

The sweet smell of success

By stink stank stunk - 09/06/2022 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, as the only female manager, I had to talk to a worker about her hygiene. I asked if she had the means and a place to shower. She rolled her eyes and said of course she did, but found daily bathing unnecessary, and that a couple times a month does her just fine. The whole staff would disagree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 126

What's up with your nose?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 200

It's my special day

By I give up - 03/06/2022 02:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 02:00 - Brazil

Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 2 170

A tax on stupidity

By dinkley7 - 21/04/2021 20:02

Today, someone called me a bitch, all because I refused to sell him lottery tickets at 3 a.m. My state prohibits sales after 10 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 82

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 82

Body positivity

By fat…? - 13/07/2022 04:00

Today, when people ask me what I’m doing this summer and I answer that I’m going into plus-size modeling, they rudely say, “Oh, me too,” or, “Oh, my grandma too.” I have an hourglass figure and spent hours on my portfolio, but everyone still thinks I’m just trying to feel better about being fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 386

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 22:59 - Australia

Today, after growing up in abusive homes most of my life until last year, I'm finally the happiest I could be and I'm getting all the help I need and achieving my dreams. I feel genuinely happy, yet I still want to end it. I've asked doctors for meds but they want me to see a psychiatrist first. The waiting list is more than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 109

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The Top

Today, I realised that my powers of disappointment had reached a new low when my ex sent me a message saying that our friend who passed away two years ago would be very upset with me for how I'm "behaving." So upset that it's also upsetting my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 126

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 924

You deserved it 6 750

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 825

You deserved it 3 409

Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 007

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 710

You deserved it 9 100

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 2 388