Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to save money, I tried following a YouTube tutorial to trim my beard myself. Halfway through, the clippers slipped, and now I have a huge chunk missing in the middle of my chin. I tried to even it out, but it just got worse. Now I look like I lost a fight with a Flymo. FML
Today, I attempted a DIY haircut. In the process, I somehow managed to give myself a reverse mohawk. I now look like I'm auditioning for a punk rock band from the 80s. FML
Today, I tried to cut my own hair to save €25. I watched three tutorials, used proper scissors, and carefully trimmed the front. It looked fine until I turned around and saw the back in the mirror. I had somehow created a bald-looking patch the size of a coaster. FML
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML
Today, I managed to shave a single stripe out of the right side of my beard before the trimmer sparked and caught fire. I have a job interview in twenty minutes. FML
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
Today, after we went and spent $30 to get our two youngest boys hair cut last weekend, they snuck my beard trimmer and had a go at doing it themselves. Guess whose heads are buzzed now. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you don't mind hanging out with an absolute maniac then you should contact Tim Lambesis. Dude needs a whole new band. And his head examined.
d j mom 9
those things come with different sizes guides.
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Comments (3)
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you don't mind hanging out with an absolute maniac then you should contact Tim Lambesis. Dude needs a whole new band. And his head examined.
d j mom 9
those things come with different sizes guides.
Yudith 28
Shave the rest, so it all grows back evenly.