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Doormat blues

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 119

The straw that broke the camel's back

By jetskiboy2000 - 15/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 653

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 512

New toy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 141

Call an exorcist

By mazz - 26/10/2021 04:59

Today, as usual, without fail, every time I wake up earlier than 10 AM, I vomit blood. No doctor can figure out why, and my parents think I'm lying, spoiled little princess who just wants to be lazy and sleep in every day. If I don’t wake up at 6 AM every day from now on, I’m grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 146

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 86

Now that you mention it…

By Broken and Broke - 31/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I have to choose between getting a new job and losing my health insurance as a result, or staying unemployed and being evicted. Did I mention that I am unemployed due to severely breaking my leg with no legal recourse? FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 124

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 00:00

Today, after getting fed up with my girlfriend ignoring me about drinking caffeine while carrying my baby, I tried to fix it by secretly switching her coffee with decaf. Apparently she found out, before telling me she’s leaving me for someone “less controlling.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 883

Tell us more in the comments!

By Sad - 18/01/2023 02:00

Today, as I continue to experience more revelations about how fucked up my mental and physical health really are, I'm starting to feel as though I was destined to not live very long. If I were to list every mental health issue or chronic condition I have, it would likely be enough for an entire Wikipedia article. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 217

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 02:00

Today, my son tripped into a door and slammed it shut. I'd been holding onto the door frame, leaning around to talk to a neighbour, so of course it slammed my fingers. It must be a really sharp door, because I just woke from the surgery to reattach my three amputated fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 141

Catching up

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 23:01

Today, I got a message from my crush, with whom I had a one night stand with a few months ago. I was really surprised and excited to see his name pop up on my phone. Turns out, he only messaged me to accuse me of giving him mono, and then he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 283

A mess of hurt

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 307

It's Klug

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 03:00

Today, I brought leftovers to work in a Tupperware container for my lunch. When I opened the container in the break room, it smelled so bad everyone stopped talking. Someone asked if something was spoiled. It wasn’t. It was just my lunch. I ate it anyway, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 361

The AAA gone rural

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 04:00

Today, my truck broke down in the middle of nowhere, and the only help available was a farmer with a mule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 133

Kick off

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having spontaneous sex on the sofa when he suddenly pulled out and sat back down, boner waving like a flagpole, because half time was over on the football and he hadn’t thought the sex would take so long. Let's see if he ever gets sex again, tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

Shitty

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 08:00

Today, I can only eat gluten-free food because gluten gives me diarrhea. I’m also vegan, so I bought some vegan cheese and salami to have a mess-free sandwich on the bus. As it turns out, vegan salami consists of 6% gluten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 1 119

Pedestrian blues

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, after I'd saved up for a deposit on a new car, I found out when I went to the dealership that I wasn’t eligible for a loan, due to my credit score. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 315

Leave me alone!

By mattrd - 06/11/2021 08:00

Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 988

Grossed out

By BARF - 12/02/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is an incredibly adventurous eater. We were on a road trip and stopped at a place that had "Fried brain sandwiches" and he insisted on trying one. He loved it. Just watching him eat it made me so sick that I still feel nauseous hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 235

Keep some things to yourself

By Beer - 28/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 393

Busted

By Busted - 16/01/2026 15:00

Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 433

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 18:00 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, I got a call from a former client. After migrating his firm to cloud-based apps a few months back, he decided I was too expensive, and he'd manage things himself. He called today with "a couple of quick questions." Question 1: How does he log in to make changes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 112

Can't be arsed

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad used to be suspicious of boys like all dads are, but just now he kicked me, actually kicked me up the ass, to get me out of the house for a date. His parting words were, "You’re 32 years-old and still living with me. Marry him, marry anybody, please, before I’m dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 553

Please, apologize

By Tytonic - 03/02/2020 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 2 138

Appropriate appropriation

By Bart - 03/07/2015 04:32 - France - Lille

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 399

You deserved it 3 530

I don't like this

By Anonymous - 09/07/2024 06:00 - Portugal - Montijo

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 322

Breaking

By Meghan - 05/09/2020 08:01 - United States - New York

Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 107

New Power Generation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 23:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument over whether Prince actually appeared in an episode of New Girl. He refused to believe me, saying it was "too weird". I had to find the specific episode to show him. He then said, "Are you sure that's really Prince?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 179

Compassion

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 17:02 - United States - Orlando

Today, I found out the reason my mom took over 9 months to get me a therapist and much needed help after I told her how I had been depressed and suicidal for over two months. It wasn't because it was hard to find one, but actually because she thought I was making it up to cushion the fact that I got a C in a class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 157

Ironic if true

By Nononono - 03/02/2026 09:00

Today, I made a move on a male friend that I’ve been crushing on and he rejected me saying we should just stay friends. I told him that he was so mean. He replied, “How am I mean? I’m just not that into you, just like you’re just not that into our friend who worships the ground you walk on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 142

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The Top

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 561

You deserved it 23 611

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 376

You deserved it 4 203

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 91 726

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 482

You deserved it 9 482

Today, I was driving to an important job interview, and I was running late. Just as I was about to get on the highway, I saw my ex standing by the road with a flat tire. I stopped to help because I'm a nice person. Turns out, the spare tire was also flat. We called for a tow truck, and I missed my interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 576

Today, my girlfriend asked me to act more like Homelander in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 143